Smart Introvert Number One Rule

We are not extroverts.

Sometimes we might forget this, at least this introvert does. But not being more extroverted doesn’t mean we can’t engage in and enjoy extroverting activities.

Introvert actions are usually done by one self while extroverting includes others.

Introverting and extroverting include actions as well as preferences or being labels to help us to understand personality differences.

Think about times you spend extroverting in activities like hosting a small dinner party with friends, vacationing someplace new or attending your high school or college football game with a few friends.

Then ask yourself did you enjoy the event?

It would be a safe assumption that for the most part, you did.

But if you were to find yourself in a whirlwind of such extroverting activities, and you were asked the same question, you would probably say you weren’t all that happy about a week long of party after party after party.

Give me a week of quietly interesting activities anytime.

Smart introvert number one rule

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How Do You Get In The Flow When You’re Not In The Flow?

Late last year at a networking event I won three door prizes: 2 restaurant gift cards, one for Mexican and one for sushi, and an over night weekend stay at a local big name hotel. I was waiting for something special to celebrate and then the day was on the calendar.

It was my husband’s birthday and time to cash in on all these gifts.

There’s always more to life than only what we see in any situation. 

How do you get in the flow when you’re not in the flow?

My husband introduced me to the car hobby years ago. Since then we’ve owned a few collector cars and still have just one. The best discovery is car shows provide so much entertainment even when you are down to one collector and two daily drivers.

- First possible turn to move in the flow

Normally at car shows, we spend a minimum of about 90 minutes going through, and walk up and down each aisle. Every so often we stop and “oooo” and “aaahhh” at particular cars catching our attention for one reason or another.

under_the_hood_flowOne car at this show, a 2005 Cobra, gave new meaning to the phrase, “look under the hood.”

Our best guestimate is to oogle at about 300 different makes and models of cars and motorcycles took less than 25 minutes to walk through. Right. Not many oohs and aahhs happening.

Then we realized it would be an hour too early to check in to the hotel room, so what to do? How do we get in the flow again?

A celebratory dinner drink seemed to be in order. We decided to stop at a restaurant only my husband had been to before: friendly servers, and gorgeous woodwork at the bar.

The hour flew by (maybe it was that spicy rum and tonic) and we were ready to head to the hotel room check in.

- Staying in the flow with the hotel free weekend night

The hotel is in a shopping and business complex. The view from our room was splendid overlooking a lovely fountain and entrance to the shopping and new 12 choices movie theatre.

This kind of big theatre is new in our area. We bantied around some ideas of what movie we might want to see. But alas, out of the flow again.

Twelve movies to choose from and not one of them excited either of us. We discussed going if only one of us liked any movie. The unexpected bonus for the evening wasn’t going to happen. It was disappointing.

Leaving the theatre lobby we headed to dinner, an unexpected bump to get back in the flow. We saw a mime. mime_flowIn our area, this is a step up from a hot-dog and hamburger kind of life to steak and potatoes. It felt wonderful as our luck was changing.

It did indeed.

- Crowded restaurant but no wait

One of the restaurant’s gift certificate for was a favorite cuisine of both of us, but not anything we eat regularly. It was encouraging when this crowded, no doubt popular, Mexican restaurant had no line.

Our experience with Mexican restaurants is the service is always fast. And so it was here. We had a wonderful tasty dinner and then began a leisurely walk back to the hotel.

On the way we had a brilliant idea: with the evening still early, why don’t we just rent a movie in the hotel room?

Have you ever done this? We do it so infrequently but it seemed like a perfect end to a totally fun weekend adventure costing us very little.

- A hotel without a pay per movie option in 2014

fountain_view_flowWhen we arrive in the hotel room, we’re puzzled not being able to find “Movies” on the television screen. My husband asked me to try because he didn’t have his reading glasses. I tried, but like him, no movies option. There was the room book, in clear sight, so I grabbed it and turned to the section “In-room movies.”

The page confirmed, we were doing everything right.

Let it go, was what we each said to each other as I put the instructions down. But being curious, I wanted to know, had the instructions changed? Was our television not connected somehow? And besides, it was getting late and I needed to put the parking decal on our car’s rearview mirror so we wouldn’t be towed. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I whispered as I left the room.

After taking care of the decal, I stopped at the front desk and asked, “Just how do we dial up a pay per view movie in our room?”

The two front desk clerks looked at each other. For that instant I thought, “Geez am I a ditz or what?”

“Well,” the woman giggled. “We no longer have in-room movie rentals.”

I couldn’t believe it, and that’s what I blurted out.

I shook my head and grabbed the elevator that happened to be waiting to take me back to our room.

My husband and I giggled about how silly that a hotel would not have in-room movie to purchase is in 2014. A movie wasn’t meant to be.

Making the best of enjoying the evening, we snuggled up, and fell asleep musing about our day and laughing about the worst parts.

Did we stay in the flow of the weekend? Indeed we did:

–       We made lemonade from any lemons put in our way. Whether it was the disappointing car show or the lack of a movie to watch, we mostly giggled at what happened when it wasn’t what we quite expected.

–       We experienced it all, including the unexpected treat of meeting a mime on our city street.

–       We reminded ourselves that 90% of our weekend was free. Free! Why not have gratitude for one of the best parts. It’s particularly uplifting to be thankful for what is, instead of getting caught in being negative too long about what is not.

How do you get in the flow when you’re not in the flow?

 

How Do You Get Over It When Things Go Wrong?

For my loyal readers, many who are friends, thank you for all your support. It’s been over a year of writing, editing, and seeing the book Communication Toolkit for Introverts to publication. The final product is almost ready.

Since the publisher has one hold-up, due to an issue with the final editing staff, it’s still time to keep going. The twist of it is, to have some fun during the wait! The publisher is more than agreeable to make several copies (PDF and paperback) available for this. More on that the end of this week so stay tuned for a fun raffle.

How Do You Get Over It When Things Go Wrong?

It’s not as if this is the only thing that has gone wrong for me. My goodness, there have been several situations this year which went on for weeks if not months. The nature and scope of some of those situations make the book launch pale in comparison.

Instead it’s more that this delay, going wrong for several months, usually occurs after a big turn in the process. This was no exception.

We finished the first round of edits back in March, just one month or two after my completion of writing.

The the book cover was complete in April.

In May it was looking as if that end of June was going to be a reality for Communication Toolkit for Introverts. 

Not so.

The publisher went through a passive reorganization. If you now or ever worked in corporate America, you likely understand the havoc that can wreak on all stakeholders.

Those are the kind of – things gone wrong – that affect me the most. The ones that come up unexpectedly.

Reflecting about this delay after delay (it’s the end of the second and I’m told final delay) meant I needed to both go within, and find inspiration outside myself.

Here are some wonderful quotations I found myself reflecting on.

Add to the list if you like. Look for this icon:

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Comment below. I love hearing from you.

 

Make the Best of When Things Go Wrong

Patricia Weber Make the Best of When Things Go Wrong

Patricia Weber | 13 items | 126 views

A list of quotes about what to do when things go wrong.

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  1. 1. "Darling when things go wrong in life, this is what you do. You lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yoursel...

    "Darling when things go wrong in life, this is what you do. You lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yoursel...
  2. 2. Keep Calm and Carry On

    Keep Calm and Carry On
  3. 3. "The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on." Robert Bloch

    "The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on." Robert Bloch
  4. 4. "Things go wrong but life goes on."

    "Things go wrong but life goes on."
  5. 5. "When things go wrong, don't go with them." Elvis Presley

    "When things go wrong, don't go with them." Elvis Presley
  6. 6. "When some things go wrong, take a moment to be grateful for the many more things that are still going right." Annie ...

    "When some things go wrong, take a moment to be grateful for the many more things that are still going right." Annie ...
  7. 7. "She stood in the storm and when the winds did not go her way, she adjusted her sails." Elizabeth Edwards

    "She stood in the storm and when the winds did not go her way, she adjusted her sails." Elizabeth Edwards
  8. 8. "When things go wrong don't go down with them. Climb up and stay strong."

    "When things go wrong don't go down with them. Climb up and stay strong."
  9. 9. "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things call fall together." Marilyn Monroe

    "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things call fall together." Marilyn Monroe
  10. 10. If everything is going your way, you’re in the wrong direction.

    If everything is going your way, you’re in the wrong direction.
  11. 11. “What do I know?" Michele d Montaigne

    “What do I know?" Michele d Montaigne
  12. 12. "Laugh… a lot.. and make that martini:)" Jacqueline Gum

    "Laugh… a lot.. and make that martini:)" Jacqueline Gum

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How Can We Make Life Less To Do About Performance?

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept | Dreamstime.com

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept | Dreamstime.com

How can we make life less to do about performance and more about fulfillment?

What? Isn’t it all about landing the next project? Getting the next client? Writing the next blog post? Making more money? Hosting the next fabulous dinner party?

Help! Unplug me.

Recently the pastor in the church I often attend was talking about how our lives are all about performance here on earth.  Then, there was the sad untimely passing of Robin Williams, indisputably a comic genius. Maybe it’s the point on the path in life that I’m on that makes certain words (messages) and sad events (dying) more relevant.

If we believe our lives don’t begin and end on earth then even the statement credited to Dr. Wayne Dyer supports both things like my pastor’s message and peoples deaths:

“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do.”

Yet many of us continue to act this way, the doing way, me included. It’s not necessarily a more introvert or extrovert thing other than as an introvert myself, this is my view of the story.

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Bad drama and good stories for introverts to navigate

good_and_bad_dramaI’m a sucker for assessments. Personal assessments. I found one today you might be interested in about how to communicate from your strengths. You know my rant about using your strengths as someone more introverted? That’s what drew me to it. Plus, it’s free; even more of a draw. I’ll share it with you at the end – or jump to the end now. It’s there.

I didn’t like the results of this assessment. Hahaha.

It identified my two top strengths and revealed a quieter strength that I have which I don’t often use. Why the heck did I have to focus on the negative again?

That got me to thinking about bad and good drama.

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