When it comes to mastering new habits, are you an upholder like me?
If you are a regular reader of my blog you know how important it is to know our energy preferences – more introverted or more extroverted – for better self-care, interpersonal communication and more.
Gretchen Rubin says she, “… created the Four Tendencies framework during my research into habits for my book, Better Than Before.”
If we want to change our habits, we first have to know ourselves.
Double Your Success of Your Resolution and Habit Success
When you take this personality quiz you’ll discover if you are an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner or Rebel. I’m an Upholder.
In the 4-page report about my Upholder tendencies I discovered I function the same whether it’s an internal or external expectation to meet a goal or habit.
I decided I wanted to lose weight permanently and eat healthier all around. I started at the most difficult time of the year, the winter holidays, and as of a couple of weeks ago, I met my target goal of a 15 pound weight loss. Actually 17 and yes, I do weigh in weekly now to check.
When I wrote Communication Toolkit for Introverts the publisher had a completion date for me, I met mine. They however were late with the publication date, nothing I could manage except to be more patient.
Refuse to take the quiz referenced here? You’re a Rebel. According to Rubin’s definitions:
- Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations.
- Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation only if they think it makes sense.
- Rebels resist all expectations.
- Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves.
I was in full agreement with my assessment that – I meet deadlines (I actually prefer to call them a more positive thing like due dates) with much little frustration or even supervision.
Have you wanted to finally commit to that new Years resolution, intention or goal that you make year after year and yet don’t always succeed?
Maybe you want to focus more and let go of multi-tasking?
Or maybe you want to eat healthier?
Exercise or exercise more, well don’t give up on that one!
If you’re a blogger, maybe you want to plan better for your posts?
We all have a habit we want to master but if we don’t know how we do that, how can we?
Rubin says this about Upholder:
“What I found out is that often the description doesn’t ring quite true.
That could mean you are an Obliger. Obligers often believe they’re Upholders, because both categories readily meet outer expectations.
However, there’s a key difference. Upholders also meet inner expectations, while Obligers struggle to meet them.
The key is: how easily do you meet an expectation to yourself? If that’s tough, you’re an Obliger.”
Want to let go of that Rebel in you now? Just kidding. But many of us find assessments that lead to self-knowledge to often be helpful in figuring ourselves out.
If you are an upholder like me, visit me at Coach.me You’ll be ready to master just those habits you want to for your own satisfaction.
Oh you’re not an upholder? Just search for any of the other three habit types you are and you’ll be able to find someone.
The coupon code for a first week free is BETTERHABITS.
See you there my fellow upholders.