How Can We Make Life Less To Do About Performance?

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept |

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept |

How can we make life less to do about performance and more about fulfillment?

What? Isn’t it all about landing the next project? Getting the next client? Writing the next blog post? Making more money? Hosting the next fabulous dinner party?

Help! Unplug me.

Recently the pastor in the church I often attend was talking about how our lives are all about performance here on earth.  Then, there was the sad untimely passing of Robin Williams, indisputably a comic genius. Maybe it’s the point on the path in life that I’m on that makes certain words (messages) and sad events (dying) more relevant.

If we believe our lives don’t begin and end on earth then even the statement credited to Dr. Wayne Dyer supports both things like my pastor’s message and peoples deaths:

“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do.”

Yet many of us continue to act this way, the doing way, me included. It’s not necessarily a more introvert or extrovert thing other than as an introvert myself, this is my view of the story.

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Bad drama and good stories for introverts to navigate

good_and_bad_dramaI’m a sucker for assessments. Personal assessments. I found one today you might be interested in about how to communicate from your strengths. You know my rant about using your strengths as someone more introverted? That’s what drew me to it. Plus, it’s free; even more of a draw. I’ll share it with you at the end – or jump to the end now. It’s there.

I didn’t like the results of this assessment. Hahaha.

It identified my two top strengths and revealed a quieter strength that I have which I don’t often use. Why the heck did I have to focus on the negative again?

That got me to thinking about bad and good drama.

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Could an introvert, even extrovert, be their own worst enemy?


introvert enemyOn a recent radio show guest appearance, helping introverts to sort out their ability to succeed in sales, it occurred to me how the label is not effectively serving some introverts. Then as serendipitous events go, an online training course came my way bringing up this issue in another way. With continued misconceptions, whether we are an introvert or extrovert we might be our own worst enemy.

Introvert label enemy

When you look in a mirror do you stop and think, “Hey I’m an introvert,” or maybe an extrovert? I sure as heck do not. I’m looking for those friendly frown lines, that stray eyebrow lash, and in a full-length mirror looking at how I like the color of the shirt I picked for the day.

But step away from the mirror and you will find a different kind of thinking. It’s those thoughts, ideas and ramblings in your head of another kind.

Like, “Hey, I’m an introvert and I can’t succeed in sales,” or “My introversion doesn’t make it possible for me to enjoy networking.” If you want to believe these labels you are carrying around, then they have boxed you in.

Just who is in control of what we believe? We are![Continue Reading...]

Top BS Facts about Introvert Experiences You Might Think Are True

One of my weaknesses, even with knowing it is a totally useless way to be or act, is judging who I am by comparing myself to others. Do you ever get that way? As I regularly say about it, it’s a win-lose proposition. This can only add to the top BS facts about introvert experiences you might think are true.

That’s my sign to take some additional time to get my head and heart cleared. And, get happy.

Award winning photo by Christopher Weber

Award winning photo by Christopher Weber

The clearing started to lift yesterday afternoon after just a few hours of being down on myself, in my head of course.

With every good intention to write a couple of blog posts to queue up since I am traveling next week, the venom of judging myself delayed me until getting in a better space. That’s when I realized it could be because of BS facts about introvert experiences. Experiences you might think are true.

In my humble opinion here are a few of those top BS facts:[Continue Reading...]

Too Busy? Try 3 Tips To Streamline Your Blog Title

Help 1Sometimes the title or headline for content that pops into my mind, just doesn’t work. It may not work for the people I want to attract to read my blog, it may not work for getting my post found online and it may not work for me.

In addition to the title dilemma, it can be the frustration what do I write about today?

Yikes. Either nothing comes up or too many ideas noodle around in my head.

Feeling compelled to systematize my blogging subjects (so many of my readers have blogged about how they do this and it inspired me) was my first step toward making the idea and title part of the process easier.

While the topic list is ever evolving, one of the top factors most things have to include for me is, it has to be fun. I’m too old to do anything which excludes having fun. Fun is one of my top five values.

Presuming you might have similar thoughts about blog post ideas or blog post titles, these tips might help you streamline crafting your blog title or even email subject.[Continue Reading...]

4 Specifics to Celebrate for Introvert Freedom


Copyright, Christopher Lee Weber

With the spirit of the July 4th holiday we are celebrating in the USA, it got me wondering, how is an introvert free?

Are we free from something or free to something?

The holiday is all about independence and freedom but the political nature of freedom is a topic for a different blog. As I started researching freedom it was quite evident this is a huge topic. What Price Freedom,,a blog post by Julia Barnickle, states people when asked to identify their top value will mostly say, freedom.

In looking at my own list of top five values while I didn’t find the specific word, it is obvious my values are centered in freedom.

It just might be true that in some way, we all value freedom.

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5 Tips To Understand and Get Out of LinkedIn Group Posting Jail

LinkedIn Top ContributorFortunately I was visiting with family and focused on enjoying our time together when I got this surprise about my LinkedIn “group posting status” appearing across any and all my pages.

The message in a blue box, on the right side of every page read, “Your posts are now being moderated group wide.” Group Wide Auto Moderation or GWAM.

What?! The groups where I contribute actively, that contribution scale on the right of the window will show “Top Contributor.”

The message of posts being moderated brought on feelings of surprise, frustration and even anger. This last feeling after I tracked down the LinkedIn explanation which is specifically vague. After all, if you don’t know what caused the problem how can you fully correct it and recover.

It almost felt I was given a jail sentence.

Another blogger, Jen Dewar, used the term SWAM, “site wide auto moderation” in a post on her blog, “Help! I’ve been SWAM’d on LinkedIn! Actually many people refer to that term.

I believe more appropriately it’s GWAM because you are still able to post LinkedIn status updates. But whether it’s SWAM or GWAM it is certainly something to track down, act on and correct. Here are 5 tips to understand and be able to get out of LinkedIn group posting jail.

It can be because of one contribution to just one group that LinkedIn does not identify for the accused, which marked as spam or flagged irrelevant.

For me it was hard to say how recent the post was. It could have been years ago since people often jump on posts that go back as far as I’ve seen to 5 years ago.

You know the kind of perpetual posts I mean: highly popular and evergreen content posts or a post that is the moderators invitation to promote yourself in some way.

Only two possibilities in the LinkedIn help explain why a “group wide auto moderation” status message would appear everywhere once you log in:[Continue Reading...]

Introverts unique power tools in selling


from Patricia Weber video

So many people’s encouragement saying that I was “a natural,” steered my early career path to sales.


All these years later, I still don’t understand how we can be natural at selling. I do know selling is something I continue to learn and use. The corporate America sales training was invaluable although not entirely by today’s standards, because of how so much has changed.

If I understood then the relationship between sales and personality type as reported now, it’s likely I would have preferred to book an appointment with my dentist then move into selling.

We don’t see many people steering introverts into a sales career. Even though we have so many of the skills the potential customers crave for and don’t often find with a seller.

If there was any personality to sales relationship talk way back then, I was oblivious to anything related to introvert and extrovert differences and preferences.

You may think, “I’m not a salesperson, what would I need to understand about selling?”

Maybe nothing, or maybe a lot.[Continue Reading...]

Introverts “on the level” approach to negotiation success

from Patricia Weber video at

from Patricia Weber video at

One editor reviewing my book commented on chapter eight: “Negotiations is something which brings out the confidence out in the open and right in front of you.”


Chapter 8 of Communication Toolkit for Introverts is all about using more of what the introvert has going for them than not, for better outcomes in win-win negotiations.

Negotiations happen everyday in business.

Maybe you want a bigger salary.

Or you have your eye on a corner office.

You have a conflict with someone else who wants to take vacation the same time you do.

What comes to your mind as an everyday business negotiation?

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Introverts can put down the axe to grind for conflict management

Image courtesy of bplanet /

Image courtesy of bplanet /

Learning to deal with conflict is a continuing process for me. In most situations I take on the conflict head on, instead of ignoring it. It may be because I am an introvert, Italian, a combination or just slow learning.

In all my years in sales and sales management, there was enough axe grinding among co-workers to kill a forest.

It turns out, several studies point to manager’s spending a good deal of time managing conflict. Like about 42% of their time.

Can you hear more trees falling?

There are many causes for workplace conflict occurring naturally from different department goals and job roles. When you mix in a person’s different needs, values and styles, is it any mystery why introverts and extroverts may have times they just cannot get along?

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