Introvert in Business to Business Sales: Take the Hard Way Out

confidentI’m going to tell you the truth – which may be painful.

You may hope that this will be an article in which I detail how introverts can make millions in sales and never have to be uncomfortable or speak to anyone – that somehow I will have the “secret” to selling without any discomfort.

Well, I don’t.

The reason why good salespeople often make as much or more than many in upper management is because of their willingness to deal with painful experiences – like getting rejected – again, and again, and again. The “secret,” if there is one, is to keep going until the discomfort and rejection don’t bother you anymore.

Introvert in Business to Business Sales: Take the Hard Way Out

The truth is, if you want to be a top salesperson, you are going to have to pay your dues. And it is usually painful – at first. You will be rejected – many times. What you may not realize is that top salespeople, many of whom consider themselves introverts, have learned to be comfortable with discomfort. The pain and rejection doesn’t bother them like it may have in the beginning. They know that discomfort, when consistently confronted, gives way to confidence. This feeling of strength does not come by reading this article. It does not come by imagining that you are confident. This strength only comes to those who, in real life, endure pain and discomfort until they give way to confidence and strength.

How do you get confident?[Continue Reading...]

What if Introverts Didn’t Have to Compete with Extroverts?

Just recently I was reading the Blue Ocean Strategy (BOS) blog post, From Blue Ocean Strategy to Blue Ocean Leadership, when it occurred to me:

What if introverts have to compete with extroverts?

Of course maybe it’s just a feeling that we have to compete. Either way, if it’s a feeling or if it’s true, I think the BOS can help us hone our advantage.

Are you familiar with Blue Ocean Strategy (BOS)?

My discovery of it came out of a failed partnership in a tee shirt company a few years back. Learning about the BOS concept was one of my business takeaways although in working with five other partners we did not adhere to the concepts, which possibly contributed to our demise.red_ocean_surfaceTM

W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne present the concept in a 2005 book of the same title. It’s a metaphor that contrasts the wide openness of a blue ocean (unknown and untapped markets) with an overpopulated red ocean (traditional and crowded competitive markets.)

What’s relevant about it for the more introverted of us? Maybe we could use it in part, for our organizational leaders or colleagues we work to look at our abilities and energy to contribute to greater performance?

Let’s have a little fun and apply part of the BOS strategy to a workshop like exercise.

We’ll start with we (introverts and extroverts alike) are all considering be partners in a new blogging platform.

[Continue Reading...]

Smart Introvert Number One Rule

We are not extroverts.

Sometimes we might forget this, at least this introvert does. But not being more extroverted doesn’t mean we can’t engage in and enjoy extroverting activities.

Introvert actions are usually done by one self while extroverting includes others.

Introverting and extroverting include actions as well as preferences or being labels to help us to understand personality differences.

Think about times you spend extroverting in activities like hosting a small dinner party with friends, vacationing someplace new or attending your high school or college football game with a few friends.

Then ask yourself did you enjoy the event?

It would be a safe assumption that for the most part, you did.

But if you were to find yourself in a whirlwind of such extroverting activities, and you were asked the same question, you would probably say you weren’t all that happy about a week long of party after party after party.

Give me a week of quietly interesting activities anytime.

Smart introvert number one rule

[Continue Reading...]

How Do You Get In The Flow When You’re Not In The Flow?

Late last year at a networking event I won three door prizes: 2 restaurant gift cards, one for Mexican and one for sushi, and an over night weekend stay at a local big name hotel. I was waiting for something special to celebrate and then the day was on the calendar.

It was my husband’s birthday and time to cash in on all these gifts.

There’s always more to life than only what we see in any situation. 

How do you get in the flow when you’re not in the flow?

My husband introduced me to the car hobby years ago. Since then we’ve owned a few collector cars and still have just one. The best discovery is car shows provide so much entertainment even when you are down to one collector and two daily drivers.

- First possible turn to move in the flow

Normally at car shows, we spend a minimum of about 90 minutes going through, and walk up and down each aisle. Every so often we stop and “oooo” and “aaahhh” at particular cars catching our attention for one reason or another.

under_the_hood_flowOne car at this show, a 2005 Cobra, gave new meaning to the phrase, “look under the hood.”

Our best guestimate is to oogle at about 300 different makes and models of cars and motorcycles took less than 25 minutes to walk through. Right. Not many oohs and aahhs happening.

Then we realized it would be an hour too early to check in to the hotel room, so what to do? How do we get in the flow again?

A celebratory dinner drink seemed to be in order. We decided to stop at a restaurant only my husband had been to before: friendly servers, and gorgeous woodwork at the bar.

The hour flew by (maybe it was that spicy rum and tonic) and we were ready to head to the hotel room check in.

- Staying in the flow with the hotel free weekend night

The hotel is in a shopping and business complex. The view from our room was splendid overlooking a lovely fountain and entrance to the shopping and new 12 choices movie theatre.

This kind of big theatre is new in our area. We bantied around some ideas of what movie we might want to see. But alas, out of the flow again.

Twelve movies to choose from and not one of them excited either of us. We discussed going if only one of us liked any movie. The unexpected bonus for the evening wasn’t going to happen. It was disappointing.

Leaving the theatre lobby we headed to dinner, an unexpected bump to get back in the flow. We saw a mime. mime_flowIn our area, this is a step up from a hot-dog and hamburger kind of life to steak and potatoes. It felt wonderful as our luck was changing.

It did indeed.

- Crowded restaurant but no wait

One of the restaurant’s gift certificate for was a favorite cuisine of both of us, but not anything we eat regularly. It was encouraging when this crowded, no doubt popular, Mexican restaurant had no line.

Our experience with Mexican restaurants is the service is always fast. And so it was here. We had a wonderful tasty dinner and then began a leisurely walk back to the hotel.

On the way we had a brilliant idea: with the evening still early, why don’t we just rent a movie in the hotel room?

Have you ever done this? We do it so infrequently but it seemed like a perfect end to a totally fun weekend adventure costing us very little.

- A hotel without a pay per movie option in 2014

fountain_view_flowWhen we arrive in the hotel room, we’re puzzled not being able to find “Movies” on the television screen. My husband asked me to try because he didn’t have his reading glasses. I tried, but like him, no movies option. There was the room book, in clear sight, so I grabbed it and turned to the section “In-room movies.”

The page confirmed, we were doing everything right.

Let it go, was what we each said to each other as I put the instructions down. But being curious, I wanted to know, had the instructions changed? Was our television not connected somehow? And besides, it was getting late and I needed to put the parking decal on our car’s rearview mirror so we wouldn’t be towed. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I whispered as I left the room.

After taking care of the decal, I stopped at the front desk and asked, “Just how do we dial up a pay per view movie in our room?”

The two front desk clerks looked at each other. For that instant I thought, “Geez am I a ditz or what?”

“Well,” the woman giggled. “We no longer have in-room movie rentals.”

I couldn’t believe it, and that’s what I blurted out.

I shook my head and grabbed the elevator that happened to be waiting to take me back to our room.

My husband and I giggled about how silly that a hotel would not have in-room movie to purchase is in 2014. A movie wasn’t meant to be.

Making the best of enjoying the evening, we snuggled up, and fell asleep musing about our day and laughing about the worst parts.

Did we stay in the flow of the weekend? Indeed we did:

–       We made lemonade from any lemons put in our way. Whether it was the disappointing car show or the lack of a movie to watch, we mostly giggled at what happened when it wasn’t what we quite expected.

–       We experienced it all, including the unexpected treat of meeting a mime on our city street.

–       We reminded ourselves that 90% of our weekend was free. Free! Why not have gratitude for one of the best parts. It’s particularly uplifting to be thankful for what is, instead of getting caught in being negative too long about what is not.

How do you get in the flow when you’re not in the flow?

 

Raffle Fun and Free Giveaway for: Communication Toolkit for Introverts

With a book release being somewhat like a roller coaster of events, there is really, no time like the present for all things marketing. Besides… I’m one who likes to have fun no matter what is happening, and it is time for some raffle fun and a free giveaway.

Raffle Fun and Free Giveaway for: Communication Toolkit for Introverts
Communication_Toolkit_for_Introverts

Since the publisher has one hold-up, due to an issue with the final editing staff, it’s still time to keep going. The twist of it is, to have some fun during the wait!

The publisher is more than agreeable to make several copies (PDF and paperback) available for this. You’ll see there are 3 (three) different prizes.

I’m using Rafflecopter to make life easy! Rafflecopter has the tools that a) randomly selects a number of winners from the entrants pool b) help to verify the winners’ entries & c) announce the winners directly on the widget.

All raffle entry details and your chance to enter are below, starting Friday August 29, 2014 at 6am EST. It will end on Friday September 19, 2014 at 6am EST.

I will post winners names the week of September 22, 2014.

So whether you call it a raffle or sweepstake, these books are given away to winners selected at random, at no cost regardless of the format.

Good luck.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Ah if only there were other kinds of “Copters” for other life situations.

Imagine this with me: you’ve written a book, it’s all edited, but the book is stuck some where in between the final edit and proof and the publication.

A “PublishCopter” approaches and hovers over the publisher.

“PublisherCopter” creates enough turbulence with it’s wings that every word on every page falls right into place.

Next thing is the book goes to print.

“PublishCopter” is printing out copies for distribution through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and others.

Your book launch and book tour has begun. Oh wait!

I’m not at this stage yet. It sure was feeling good though.

But remember, it’s time for some fun. There are plenty of ways for you to enter.

The prizes are plentiful: 3 copies of the downloadable PDF, 1 copy of the paperback, and 1 copy of the paperback with a coaching session if you would like.

Much thanks to the generosity of my publisher.

On to the raffle fun and free giveaways for you. 

Share it now: 

How Do You Get Over It When Things Go Wrong?

For my loyal readers, many who are friends, thank you for all your support. It’s been over a year of writing, editing, and seeing the book Communication Toolkit for Introverts to publication. The final product is almost ready.

Since the publisher has one hold-up, due to an issue with the final editing staff, it’s still time to keep going. The twist of it is, to have some fun during the wait! The publisher is more than agreeable to make several copies (PDF and paperback) available for this. More on that the end of this week so stay tuned for a fun raffle.

How Do You Get Over It When Things Go Wrong?

It’s not as if this is the only thing that has gone wrong for me. My goodness, there have been several situations this year which went on for weeks if not months. The nature and scope of some of those situations make the book launch pale in comparison.

Instead it’s more that this delay, going wrong for several months, usually occurs after a big turn in the process. This was no exception.

We finished the first round of edits back in March, just one month or two after my completion of writing.

The the book cover was complete in April.

In May it was looking as if that end of June was going to be a reality for Communication Toolkit for Introverts. 

Not so.

The publisher went through a passive reorganization. If you now or ever worked in corporate America, you likely understand the havoc that can wreak on all stakeholders.

Those are the kind of – things gone wrong – that affect me the most. The ones that come up unexpectedly.

Reflecting about this delay after delay (it’s the end of the second and I’m told final delay) meant I needed to both go within, and find inspiration outside myself.

Here are some wonderful quotations I found myself reflecting on.

Add to the list if you like. Look for this icon:

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Comment below. I love hearing from you.

 

Make the Best of When Things Go Wrong
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Patricia Weber Make the Best of When Things Go Wrong

Listly by Patricia Weber

A list of quotes about what to do when things go wrong.

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  1. 1  "Darling when things go wrong in life, this is what you do. You lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yoursel...

    "Darling when things go wrong in life, this is what you do. You lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yoursel...
  2. 2  Keep Calm and Carry On

    Keep Calm and Carry On
  3. 3  "The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on." Robert Bloch

    "The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on." Robert Bloch
  4. 4  "Things go wrong but life goes on."

    "Things go wrong but life goes on."
  5. 5  "When things go wrong, don't go with them." Elvis Presley

    "When things go wrong, don't go with them." Elvis Presley
  6. 6  "When some things go wrong, take a moment to be grateful for the many more things that are still going right." Annie ...

    "When some things go wrong, take a moment to be grateful for the many more things that are still going right." Annie ...
  7. 7  "She stood in the storm and when the winds did not go her way, she adjusted her sails." Elizabeth Edwards

    "She stood in the storm and when the winds did not go her way, she adjusted her sails." Elizabeth Edwards
  8. 8  "When things go wrong don't go down with them. Climb up and stay strong."

    "When things go wrong don't go down with them. Climb up and stay strong."
  9. 9  "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things call fall together." Marilyn Monroe

    "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things call fall together." Marilyn Monroe
  10. 10  If everything is going your way, you’re in the wrong direction.

    If everything is going your way, you’re in the wrong direction.
  11. 11  “What do I know?" Michele d Montaigne

    “What do I know?" Michele d Montaigne
  12. 12  "Laugh… a lot.. and make that martini:)" Jacqueline Gum

    "Laugh… a lot.. and make that martini:)" Jacqueline Gum

View more lists from Patricia Weber

How Can We Make Life Less To Do About Performance?

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept | Dreamstime.com

Photo Credit: Time to Prove Yourself Stopwatch Timer Words Performance © Iqoncept | Dreamstime.com

How can we make life less to do about performance and more about fulfillment?

What? Isn’t it all about landing the next project? Getting the next client? Writing the next blog post? Making more money? Hosting the next fabulous dinner party?

Help! Unplug me.

Recently the pastor in the church I often attend was talking about how our lives are all about performance here on earth.  Then, there was the sad untimely passing of Robin Williams, indisputably a comic genius. Maybe it’s the point on the path in life that I’m on that makes certain words (messages) and sad events (dying) more relevant.

If we believe our lives don’t begin and end on earth then even the statement credited to Dr. Wayne Dyer supports both things like my pastor’s message and peoples deaths:

“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do.”

Yet many of us continue to act this way, the doing way, me included. It’s not necessarily a more introvert or extrovert thing other than as an introvert myself, this is my view of the story.

[Continue Reading...]

Bad drama and good stories for introverts to navigate

good_and_bad_dramaI’m a sucker for assessments. Personal assessments. I found one today you might be interested in about how to communicate from your strengths. You know my rant about using your strengths as someone more introverted? That’s what drew me to it. Plus, it’s free; even more of a draw. I’ll share it with you at the end – or jump to the end now. It’s there.

I didn’t like the results of this assessment. Hahaha.

It identified my two top strengths and revealed a quieter strength that I have which I don’t often use. Why the heck did I have to focus on the negative again?

That got me to thinking about bad and good drama.

[Continue Reading...]

Could an introvert, even extrovert, be their own worst enemy?

 

introvert enemyOn a recent radio show guest appearance, helping introverts to sort out their ability to succeed in sales, it occurred to me how the label is not effectively serving some introverts. Then as serendipitous events go, an online training course came my way bringing up this issue in another way. With continued misconceptions, whether we are an introvert or extrovert we might be our own worst enemy.

Introvert label enemy

When you look in a mirror do you stop and think, “Hey I’m an introvert,” or maybe an extrovert? I sure as heck do not. I’m looking for those friendly frown lines, that stray eyebrow lash, and in a full-length mirror looking at how I like the color of the shirt I picked for the day.

But step away from the mirror and you will find a different kind of thinking. It’s those thoughts, ideas and ramblings in your head of another kind.

Like, “Hey, I’m an introvert and I can’t succeed in sales,” or “My introversion doesn’t make it possible for me to enjoy networking.” If you want to believe these labels you are carrying around, then they have boxed you in.

Just who is in control of what we believe? We are![Continue Reading...]

Top BS Facts about Introvert Experiences You Might Think Are True

One of my weaknesses, even with knowing it is a totally useless way to be or act, is judging who I am by comparing myself to others. Do you ever get that way? As I regularly say about it, it’s a win-lose proposition. This can only add to the top BS facts about introvert experiences you might think are true.

That’s my sign to take some additional time to get my head and heart cleared. And, get happy.

Award winning photo by Christopher Weber

Award winning photo by Christopher Weber

The clearing started to lift yesterday afternoon after just a few hours of being down on myself, in my head of course.

With every good intention to write a couple of blog posts to queue up since I am traveling next week, the venom of judging myself delayed me until getting in a better space. That’s when I realized it could be because of BS facts about introvert experiences. Experiences you might think are true.

In my humble opinion here are a few of those top BS facts:[Continue Reading...]