In a previous blog post I listed the Top 20 Things Introverts DON’T Want to Do on Twitter. You may or may not be on Twitter, but my guess is, you are on some websites like LinkedIn, FaceBook, MySpace, Naymz or something, right? Geez. Just writing that small list, knowing that there are hundreds of social networking websites, made me feel that energy vampire. How much is too much for an introvert? We are after all, people who get that energy, that charge for life, from ourselves.
Don’t follow, friend or connect with people unless you want to. I realize some “gurus” tell you to connect with everyone who connects with you. The truth is, that isn’t going to work long term for an introvert. Even Dunbar’s Law says people in general, can’t have meaningful relationships with more than about 120 people. Recall your purpose to get in social online networking and let that guide you to who and how many to follow, friend or connect. Introverts can’t be like extroverts so there isn’t any need trying. Just wade into things.
Don’t ignore an inner prompting. Do you find you are being overwhelmed with invitations from well-meaning, followers, friends or contacts, to join more and more networks? On it first happening to me, I went right along – looking at who invited me, checking out the network and then finding some sense of attraction, I would join. Now I find myself in networks with the founders initial excitement depleted and the connection also frayed. It’s like with a quilt fraying, the energy is slowly eroding from me: the networks are there, I know it and I just let them continue to fray. Take a deep breath on every invitation before you check out each invitation. Get your center and then you’ll be more in touch with you inner prompting which may be just to thank the person for the invite and not accept it.
Don’t ignore the rest of your life. My online friend, Jim Sutton, added this to my original list and it gave me pause to think. “Yes; I do have a life beyond all this.” See, with a business marketing mindset, sometimes every online networking opportunity smells as sweet as a rose. But then, as you get more an more invitations, have to do more and more of tweeting, and messaging and replying to emails, the rose smell becomes an odor. Remember, there is life outside, away from these attractive means of connecting.
Don’t ignore social online networking. Even with all these caveats, don’t ignore what’s happening online. I’ve been in business since 1976 and no college course prepared me for the way things would change with the initial introduction of personal computers, then the internet and now social online networking. It is a trend that is being found my some, to be both professionally and personally effective. To ignore it would be like playing chess without all the pieces. Social online networking is real and growing.
What do you think? How else can an introvert be careful, cautious and taking care of their nature while still benefiting from social networking?
I just read a post on your blog. I’m thinking each of your tips is a gem of wisdom whether someone’s an introvert or an extrovert.
I say that because I’m an extrovert I agree with what you said. You and Jim are wise to recognize that we can get sucked in, only to come up hours later to ask ourselves, how have I benefitted from the time I’ve spent. I am reconnecting with old friends from school, work, and life. I’m meeting great new people whom I’m getting to know, like, and trust. I want deep, meaningful conversation online just like I do offline. We all need to find balance which is dynamic making it a bit tricky to plan.
That’s where your second tip comes in. Listen to your inner guidance… follow your heart. That goes for who to connect with and follow. I’m imagining myself an introvert and thinking it also depends upon my energy level and mood. I may want to connect… after I recharge from within. Listening to that inner voice is key here. Oh, that applies to me as an extrovert, too, now that I’m thinking about it.
Another tip is to put social networking into perspective with everything else on your plate, personal and professional. How often I start my day with email and social networking, only to find the business mission critical tasks and projects have been untouched. Social networking is, as one of my mentors Bonnie Dillabough, The Web Woman, says The Internet isn’t instand pudding. That includes social networking. Make sure you’re putting important, though maybe not so urgent tasks and projects on your plate and spend some time every day working on these, too.
Bottom line, whatever you’re doing, if it’s aligned with your vision, mission and purpose, if you’re enjoying the work when you’re doing it, if you’re showing up and doing your best, that’s what really matters. All roads lead to Oz as long as you’re looking toward Oz and moving in that direction.
What do you think? What’s your experience been? Do you have any other tips that have helped you manage your social networking? Please share them with us. We’re all learning in public and can use all the support, encouragement, and guidance as we co-create this new world of Web 2.0.