In a LinkedIn post, Are You Using Your Introversion As Your Achilles Heel Or An Excuse? the point of the analogy was to avoid making excuses for being more of an introvert. It’s not a weakness at all to be more introverted.
If you’re not using your introversion as an excuse or find it to be your Achilles Heel, bravo!
Now let’s compare the reality that is, your introversion is your strongest asset. It’s like your femur bone.
Many authorities claim the femur bone, the only bone in the thigh, is the longest and strongest bone in the human body. Just as this is with the body, my thinking is that our introversion is our strongest personality preference on its own and weighed in with who we are overall.
Let me suggest at least three ways we might find our introversion to be our femur bone. Then we can eliminate any lingering self-doubt from, “woe is me I’m more of an introvert.”
Technology allows us to connect more thoughtfully. Most smart devices including our computers allow us to blog, message and post images of significant events in our life. Hopefully, we think things through with what we post.
If we’re more introverted, we likely give pause to think about how what we blog, or message or post, and then the communication is well-received and puts us in a good light.
Our femur bone: We think things through and our use of technology is no exception to using this part of ourselves regularly.
Be confident in your self-knowledge. I’m an INTJ, which in part means I’m in my head, with lots of ideas and interested in learning more about myself. INTJ’s (do you know your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®)?) are just 1-2% of the population, small but mighty force. No, it’s not going to my head, it just came on to my keyboard.
With this realization and in part because of my natural tendency to value something new higher than most any other value, it’s no wonder I find myself free of convention or even business rituals like networking. I am always on the search for a different, novel or new way.
Our femur bone: We are idea people, and the world is in need of idea people, maybe now more than ever.
Communication generally moves toward one-to-one. Whether in speaking or writing, being on the telephone or texting, communicating is a process that can move to a one-to-one level. And don’t we shine then? We can dive deep into a conversation or idea, change someone’s mind if it’s possible and inspire someone into action in that setting.
Our femur bone: Our one to one relationships are strong. We may not have hundreds of them, but even Dunbar’s number proposes most individuals can sustain roughly 150 meaningful relationships.
A leader can be a leader not solely because of title, but more because of the silent factor, the unspoken reasons. In a similar regard, introverts can use their femur bone tendencies to get their voice heard and get things done.
This is one of my favorite posts, Patricia. What a great way to relate the strength of an intorvert. I used to be reticent about saying, “Let me think about that.” Now it gives me no pause at all. In part, because of you and your wonderful book! I now realize that coming up with a right answer is more important than coming up with a quick answer. Femur that!
You are so funny – “Femur that!” Jacqueline so delighted it made sense, the analogy. Some people don’t get it. Maybe they need to think – deeper. hahaha
This is an interesting analogy, Patricia. One shouldn’t look at being introverted as a detriment. I’m one to be in my head a lot too, always interested in learning more about myself and my personality type. I think it’s very helpful… as are your posts. 🙂
Susan not looking at being more introverted as a detriment was my point in the Achilles heel post. Then I just felt compelled to go the other direction on looking at being more introverted as our strength. Thanks!
Patricia — I’m surprised you’re an INTJ — because the “I” seems in conflict with your other apptitudes. I guess that’s why there are so few of you! I’m an ENTJ, which wouldn’t be hard for anyone to guess who knows me. But even I think 150 meaningful relationships seems awfully high. I guess I’d need to have a better definition of “meaningful.”
Jeannette, I know I’m likely saying something you already know, the ONLY thing i/e is a measurement of is the personal energy source: is it from within, or outside. That’s it. I’m not sure if Dunbar even explains “meaningful.” Such a valid point you make.
This is such a great analogy. I truly value a leader who will say they need time to mull something over. So many extroverted types shoot from the hip, and that can have dire consequences.
Extroverted types do think as they speak which is dissimilar to think first then speak for many introverts. I like your term, shoot from the hip which describes what we likely see in the think when speaking aloud Jeri! Thanks.
Even though I’m mainly extrovert I like to say I will think things over. It’s often the best option provided it’s not a simple issue.
Personally believe being INTJ doesn’t only apply to introverts. Is there any human being in this world that doesn’t analyse issues of relevance to them in their mind? I do, for instance have today and yesterday been mulling a geopolitical issue that my intuition tells me could lead to a lot of trouble. Don’t we all benefit from analysing and finding out as much as we can about something? If not, our femur bones will break:-) And we would definitely stagnate…
Catarina, INTJ indeed only applies to introverts. It’s the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (TM) type meaning – introvert, intuitive, thinker, judging. There is, however, an ENTJ MBTI (TM) type that might be your point? Extrovert, intuitive, thinking, judging.
The truth is many (not all) extroverts think when then speak, as Jeri calls it, “shoot from the hip”, more than we find that behavior in introverts who mostly (not every time) think and then speak.
For each, in their way, it is their femur bone. We get in trouble when we try to be who we are NOT.
Hello Patricia
Yesterday when I read the post about VOICE by Jeri. I was thinking how to make our voice heard and make it the way it leave an impression. So day on your blog I got this,” introverts can use their femur bone tendencies to get their voice heard and get things done.”
I am not much sure that I am an introvert or extrovert but the points that you have mentioned about self recognition, keeping strong bonds, being thoughtful while with technology show me that these are things that I consider myself as well, in my life… So may be I am also an introvert.
It was nice to read and know that introvert asserts are like FEMUR bone, that really is the largest and strongest bone of the body, this I know for sure.
Andleeb the best way to discover if you are more introverted or extroverted, is to take an online assessment. There are paid (MBTI), and free ones – a valuable free one and reasonably accurate is at italcitizen.ca/2011/02/20free-personality-assessment/
Next to that think of the different this way: introvert and extrovert tendencies are all about personal energy. Every person has two faces. One is about the outer world of activities, situations, people, and things. The other is directed inward to the personal world of thoughts, interests, ideas, and imagination. One of these ENERGIZES us as individuals more than others. For example, my husband at a networking event loves going on and on with it, even wanting to go to another directly after because he’s more extroverted. I on the other hand, want to leave fairly soon either after I achieve my intention or just feel my energy decline. Hope that helps.
I am an introvert by nature. I like being around people but need time to recharge. I like to think before I speak and thoroughly check emails and text messages before sending. I would rather give a correct answer than hastily jump in with the wrong answer.
You know Phoenicia, your comment made me think about how the more introverted likely have a strong body skeleton with all their strengths. So why hastily (to use your word) would we jump into believing some of the darn myths about us!
I love this analogy, and the title really got my attention! I think we all have traits that could be considered weaknesses, or could be turned around into our greatest strength. You’ve given me a lot to think about…
One of my missions in life Meredith, one of my femur bones, to make others think. Well at least every once in a while! Thanks.
What a terrific analogy Patricia, and I am also an idea person. In fact if there is one thing I miss about working in the corporate world it’s having that team behind me to run around and turn my ideas into reality. One of my goals this year is to hire a couple of virtual assistants so I can spend more time creating but the issue there is less affording them than it is me being willing to let go and delegate … which is another subject entirely. Thanks for the inspiration!
Ooooo Marquita. A little “control ” issue you say. What part of you might be a strength to balance that out? What other femur bone related characteristics would help you let go and delegate?
Interesting idea – comparing traits to the femur bones when they are actually strong. I don’t maintain a large crowd of good friends, certainly not 150. In that way, I suppose I’m an introvert. I do very much value my few really good friends and always savor our not-so-often long talks. I’m the type of person who is a good listener and so people think of me as their friend. I really enjoy my online contacts – never threatening or careless of my time because they can’t be!
Beth, no one is all one or the other when it comes to introvert/extrovert so I’m glad you said, “in that way,” when you said you may be more introverted.
Valuing a few really good friends likely cuts across type lines if indeed it is a choice. Which it sounds like it is. Thanks.
Great post Pat – what an interesting analogy and you raise so many good points. I particularly liked being confident about ones self knowledge. Second guessing is a fatal move for anyone, especially if they are a leader. it just leads to stress and makes others lose faith too.
A.K. you bring up and important idea about how second guessing is a fatal behavior. I love that! Thanks.
One way in which introversion may be a strength, or a femer, is that introverts are often better listeners, sometimes for the simple reason that it is hard to be a good listener if you’re always the one who is talking.
Ken that is partially true. There actually is little scientific research showing we more introverted are better listeners – one or two sales studies bear this out. But more studies show that because we do listen MORE, we have more opportunities to learn to listen better. Thanks for pointing this out!
I like looking at introvert traits as strengths instead of weaknesses. Often strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin. I often need to think things through before I respond or act. In today’s fast-paced business world that doesn’t always sit well – people are expected to respond quickly, even if the response is rash or ill-considered. I learned to speak up and say I am thinking about it or I need time to respond when I started working on remote projects where everyone I dealt with was on the phone. In person, people could tell from my facial expressions (I doubt I’d be much of a poker player) I was thinking.
I love how you have learned to speak up about what is totally natural to you, but which others may not understand Donna. This helps all more introverted people. Thanks!
I think looking at introversion as the femur bone is such an interesting analogy. Why has being an introvert started to seem like an insult? I think introverts would have a great impact on social media because of the consideration and thought that is usually associated with introverts. I love looking at it as a strength.
Erica that is a wonderful question – Why has being an introvert started to seem like an insult? You would think with almost 50 or so introvert focused coaches, authors and the like, that the myths around it would be weaker. So I really do not have an answer! Great questions.
What an awesome metaphor, Patricia! Another example of how deeply you think, as an introvert. And to take a positive spin, even better. I love the way you leverage the case for being an introvert as a huge positive, and find ways to exemplify it. There’s great value in being an introvert, as you point out, and not only do we need more of them, but also, more ways in which to appreciate their introvert ways.
Krystyna, I just get so sick of the misconception of the more introverted being less this and that. And the truth is, it doesn’t matter what your personality preference is – lead in all things with your strengths seems to be valuable.
Hi Pat, another interesting post that makes us think – something we introverts love to do. I appreciate you comparing our strengths to the femur bone – strong and able to keep us moving forward. I think that is one reason I love blogging – I research, learn, write, revise and revise again and when I think it’s ready, and not before, I post it. That isn’t always possible out in public. As for the friends, I have a few really good friends, the rest I consider acquaintances. And I do love and enjoy my online friends – no pressure.
Lenie, I’m often stretching to think of an appropos metaphor to drive my point to NO distraction. I’ve delighted to know this one of the introvert strengths being like our femur bones worked for you.
Another great post. Being an introvert I always like reading your articles and recommendations. Thank you for taking the time to make my life a little better.
William besides liking this post, did you have a particular take away from the metaphor for introverts?
I am pretty sure I am an introvert as well however with that said I can still derive energy from those around me. I like the analogy of the femur and relate that to only being as strong as the weakest link. Intro or extrovert I think whatever you are you should take pride in that.
Tim, indeed this is so true what you say: Intro or extrovert I think whatever you are you should take pride in that. Thanks.