We are not extroverts.
Sometimes we might forget this, at least this introvert does. But not being more extroverted doesn’t mean we can’t engage in and enjoy extroverting activities.
Introvert actions are usually done by one self while extroverting includes others.
Introverting and extroverting include actions as well as preferences or being labels to help us to understand personality differences.
Think about times you spend extroverting in activities like hosting a small dinner party with friends, vacationing someplace new or attending your high school or college football game with a few friends.
Then ask yourself did you enjoy the event?
It would be a safe assumption that for the most part, you did.
But if you were to find yourself in a whirlwind of such extroverting activities, and you were asked the same question, you would probably say you weren’t all that happy about a week long of party after party after party.
Give me a week of quietly interesting activities anytime.
Smart introvert number one rule
We are not extroverts.
As introverts our preference is for actions that might require more inner focus like reading, thinking, listening, gardening, hanging out with our dog, or cat.
More outward directed actions are extroverting like networking, entertaining guests at home, being at a sports game, public speaking. Just listing the kind of actions where I can feel being around more than one or two other people, I almost feel the energy leave me.
I can go for long periods of time talking on the phone, in particular if it’s for research.
Parties are a regular calendar event when your partner is an extrovert.
Even doctor office visits require polite exchanges and eventually thoughtful questions that lead to the hope of helpful replies.
But at the end of any one day, if I ignore my introvert instincts and keep on going, then the next day, I’m toast. It can leave me needing to plan for more solitary events.
Find a way of honoring your introvert needs
Be certain to know your and not use “I’m an introvert” to avoid an experience you just don’t want to have. After all, being an introvert or an extrovert isn’t one or the other but, varying degrees of either.
Here are a few ways to be sure most introverted can keep pace more comfortably with those times when extroverting experiences seem like a marathon:
Patricia Weber
Owner
Honoring Your Introvert Needs
What do you do to honor your introvert needs?
Solitude.
Quiet time.
Take breaks to recharge.
Routine relaxation.
One-to-one communication time.
Time for reflection.
Personal space.
Planning time.
Time to think.
It’s only in this honoring our needs that we can strengthen the extrovert side of ourselves which often times might we might struggle with or have those actions feel like heaving lifting.
Bring out the best extrovert in you
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Show the confidence you have within.
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Use your listening to get your voice heard.
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Speak up to add value in meetings.
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Wow an audience in a presentation.
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Manage conflict with a double win.
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Negotiate like the a pro.
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Sell – whether it’s our ideas or a product – like the best of them.
We are introverts, or at least have more of that as a preference. If we want to carry ourselves more easily and comfortably in this world with so much attention on extroverting, let’s not be frightened because we find our strength more in silence. Instead, let’s build ourselves stronger with how we manage our true selves.
Lot of new tips from your article and thank you for your new ideas.I think the tip you gave are right on that, “Parties are a regular calendar event when your partner is an extrovert.”
It’s the truth isn’t it John? Delighted you found value. Thanks.
Time for reflection really mattered a great deal when I was teaching. I needed to write in my journal to process how worn out a day in the classroom tended to leave me. I don’t journal nearly as much now that I’m not surrounded by people all day because I have far less need to vent 😉
Great point Jeri – often our environment can change to our advantage! Sounds like yours certainly did.
Pat — even extroverts need alone time, at least I do, even though I love the company of people. One trait of extroverts is that we are too eager to jump into every project or entertain too often or go out too many evenings. Then we crash.
Hi Patricia- I guess a I am little of both introvert and extrovert. I ma mostly and extrovert but since my husband is an introvert I guess I like both sides. I don’t think it is bad to be a little of both
Most of us are a little of each Alreen. But in my experience, we more introverted need more down time.
Good suggestions, Pat, that apply to extroverts as well as introverts. Just forging ahead without reflecting and planning the way forward can lead to disaster.
Yes Catarina. I know my more extroverted husband likes his downtime on Sunday nights!
You are the introvert expert. A woman after my own heart. Although I can participate in extrovert activities, I really have to take care not to over do.
Yes ma’am Cheryl. That’s the key to the number one rule! We can extrovert but we cannot over do it without losing energy and everything that affects.
Great advice Pat, for all people. I tend to be on the more extroverted side and can really relate to Jeanette’s comment about being a little too eager to take on too much or entertain too often. I need to follow some of your sage advice Pat. 🙂
Susan, even my more extroverted husband tends to follow my advice! Teehee. Thanks.
Patricia,
Nice post, thank you. I was in sales for many years and had to travel most weeks to meet with customers. I always took a book with me and all day I would look forward to relaxing in my hotel after a long day and just read. That would always recharge me for the next day.
George
Of course George! I think for many of us reading can be on the list. Did you want to add it here? Or shall I? And thanks.