Two Marriage-friendly Ways for Wives to Stop Controlling their Husbands

Two marriage friendly ways for wives to stop controlling their husbands

Does your hairdresser ever give you advice as you talk through a situation with her? Or maybe she asks for your ideas or thoughts on an issue? Mine does both. She’s a skilled listener and a curious person.

A couple of years ago she asked me if I knew the Bible tells us women are going to be a controlling nuisance to our husbands.

Two-Marriage-friendly-Ways-for-Wives-to-Stop-Controlling-their-HusbandsGenesis 3:16

16 Then he said to the woman,

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain, you will give birth.

And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

Ever since that time I’ve wondered if or how we can find at least two marriage friendly ways for wives to stop controlling their husbands. We certainly don’t have to learn every lesson with our mistakes. So let me share some of my own!

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How to Use Gratitude to Manage Stress and Find Peace

How to Use Gratitude to Manage Stress and Find Peace

Gratitude is the first daily habit for working wonders for me to manage stress and find peace. Naturally, it had to be during a difficult situation! Do you know what I mean?

Over the years that I heard so much gratitude journaling in different psychology and spiritual blog posts, it didn’t work for me.

When a particularly stressful situation came up, I needed to find some peace.

It was around that time I also became a text coach. What’s a text coach? A coach who can go anywhere with people because there’s an app for text coaching! It works wonders for people who want to reach a goal, build a skill or change a habit.

But besides using a coach there, I could more easily track my daily gratitude – and get thumbs up from other members for it. Then I could see progress points of 30 days straight, 180 days straight, and the longest streak of 258 days.

Who doesn’t like a little cheerleading now and then? Sure better than journaling for me.

These days I’ve moved away from logging in to track my gratitude 3 to 5 things, because of this daily habit is on auto-pilot.

I’m not perfect with my gratitude practice and likely never will be. However, I have learned some tips to make it as much of a daily habit as you would want to! [Continue Reading…]

How to Power Up with Mindfulness for Introverts, Even Extroverts

How to Power Up with Mindfulness for Introverts, Even Extroverts

When you hear the word peace, what comes to mind? Sometimes our minds, introverts and even extroverts,  are filled with so many thoughts we may not be able to hear the most important ones above the noise.

On a global level maybe it’s about ending wars and hatred.

Or if you grew up when I did perhaps you think of flowers and peace symbols.

Ultimately what we each want is personal peace. I don’t understand why more introverts aren’t seemingly taking advantage of the wonderful thought-pacer of mindfulness meditation.  

These past few years I’ve been learning more about meditation, mindfulness, and prayer. In the process of a daily habit of all three practices, I’m letting go of worry and stress and becoming more present and grounded in everyday situations including some of the most inconceivable.

There is research to support some of the benefits of mindfulness meditation. Because many believe there is not enough research, studies continue, including UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC) which according to their website has a mission: “to foster mindful awareness across the lifespan through education and research to promote well-being and a more compassionate society.”

Until you experience things first hand, sometimes you never know!

How to Power Up with Mindfulness for Introverts, Even Extroverts

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How To Manage Most Stressful Situations To Find Peace

How To Manage Most Stressful Situations To Find Peace

On a previous post,  I mentioned a time when my 88-year-old mother was in an ambulance on the way to the emergency room from long-term care.

Where is the joy in that?

In an inconceivable situation like this, I’ve found that to stay in the moment or be totally present is possible even if you cannot find joy. Pausing when I took the call, for just 8 seconds to breathe deeply in and out, (by the way not even noticed by the nurse) I was able to speak calmly and ask questions about her condition.

Peace in the moment is all I wanted, not necessarily joy.

My online blogger friend Phoenicia commented, “That would probably be the last thing most people would do at that moment.

Being joyful always is humanly not possible with every situation of each day. Depending what a person might do in a similar situation in 8 seconds of breathing, can either help ease stress if there is any – or increase any negative emotions.

Certainly not every day is as stressful as another. Nor is any one day as predictable to the level of joy. But when it isn’t easy to find joy, I often at least want to find peace.[Continue Reading…]

How to Easily Find Peace in Most Stressful Situations

how to easily find peace in most stressful situations

Here is the sound of joy:

That’s my youngest granddaughter when she was almost three years old.

Unless we are swinging on a swing all day long, there are going to be times in our life or days where something blocks us from joy.

Sometimes our to-do list can have an over abundance of items. Often information, whether we need it or not, seems to come to us non-stop. Life events can take twists and turns that never crossed our radar screen.

Can you relate to the change of pace or situations that can suck you into negative feelings in similar ways?

how to easily find peace in most stressful situations

I belong to a small group at the church I attend. While I always benefit from our pastor’s message, these small groups allow us to go deeper into what the over all theme might be that week or month.

Usually, a small group has 7 or 8 people at most. No one gets pressure to contribute. In total, the meetings last about 90 minutes. These small groups are perfect for the introvert!

A few weeks ago we studied about being joyful in all circumstances. When hearing similar advice in a mastermind group I’m in, it was a prompting to go to the Bible to find ways to be in joy more often as a way to find peace in more stressful situations.

Always be joyful. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 (NLT) 

This bible verse doesn’t say in good times. It doesn’t say most of the time. There is not any time delineation about when to start and when to stop being joyful. Always is the first word.

This verse is as clear as can be: always. Take any synonym you prefer to put in the word always place, and the meaning stays the same.

Maybe you have a, “But what about when ….?”

Often a situation isn’t easy to be joyful. My 88-year-old mother was in an ambulance on the way to the emergency room from long-term care. This situation is just the kind to stay in the moment or be totally present. Taking the call from the floor nurse, was just enough time to get centered. The nurse didn’t seem to notice the pause of just 8 seconds to breathe deeply in and out. With that little reprieve I could speak calmly and ask questions.

How-to-Easily-Find-Peace-in-Most-Stressful-SituationsTaking a pause, or being mindful in the moment, is about being present. When something knocks me on my butt these days, and if the situation allows for, I take a full 16 seconds to breathe in and out as I learned on my meditation retreat with davidji. You can read more about the meditation retreat experience if you any interest.

Then a whisper in my mindfulness, “Always be joyful,” and I could feel the slightest curl on both sides of my mouth.

Getting the information needed allowed me to telephone my sisters who live within an hour of mom and give them the best update.

But as I lost my center with the day moving on, I lost my joy. I started to get anxious. The thoughts were running like a freight train through my head.

I recently read that anxious (like worry) is being fearful of what might happen in the future, and anxiety is worrying about the past. They both rob you of peace.

If you can, imagine a time where you got a telephone call or some other communication about a dire situation?

Maybe you manage to stay present, be mindful of the moment to assess the situation and have clear communications.

You might be either calmer or further along in your mindfulness and other spiritual path practices than I am. If so you likely don’t get rattled about anything.

Please do tell us, how do you find your peace in stressful situations?

If you’re at about the same point in the journey, then it’s likely you know worry can happen next.How-to-Easily-Find-Peace-in-Most-Stressful-Situations

My sense is it, since we process differently, that an introvert may withdraw more during difficult times. Some studies bear out that extroverts cope with stress more actively. I know my extrovert husband will spurt his thoughts and feeling right then.

Maybe I was in one of these studies since I know I tend at first to be quiet. Since introvert brains are hardwired to process through a longer path of neuron connections, the difference in the two styles seems to make sense.

It also may be a gender-specific coping with stress. There’s actual physical evidence that there are 1 of 3 hormones released during a stressful situation affecting women longer term. 

There are three verses in 1 Thessalonians to consider to remember if you want to know,

how to easily find peace in most stressful situations

I hope you’ll join me in the next post to find out what the next two verses are and how you can put them to work for you in practical ways.

Be joyful, pray continuously, be thankful in all circumstances.


Parts originally posted 2008.

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