When it comes to mastering new habits, are you an upholder like me?
If you are a regular reader of my blog you know how important it is to know our energy preferences – more introverted or more extroverted – for better self-care, interpersonal communication and more.
Gretchen Rubin says she, “… created the Four Tendencies framework during my research into habits for my book, Better Than Before.”
If we want to change our habits, we first have to know ourselves.
[Tweet “Not everyone is like me. But first I have to figure out who I am.”]
Double Your Success of Your Resolution and Habit Success
When you take this personality quiz you’ll discover if you are an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner or Rebel. I’m an Upholder.
In the 4-page report about my Upholder tendencies I discovered I function the same whether it’s an internal or external expectation to meet a goal or habit.
I decided I wanted to lose weight permanently and eat healthier all around. I started at the most difficult time of the year, the winter holidays, and as of a couple of weeks ago, I met my target goal of a 15 pound weight loss. Actually 17 and yes, I do weigh in weekly now to check.
When I wrote Communication Toolkit for Introverts the publisher had a completion date for me, I met mine. They however were late with the publication date, nothing I could manage except to be more patient.
Refuse to take the quiz referenced here? You’re a Rebel. According to Rubin’s definitions:
- Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations.
- Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation only if they think it makes sense.
- Rebels resist all expectations.
- Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves.
I was in full agreement with my assessment that – I meet deadlines (I actually prefer to call them a more positive thing like due dates) with much little frustration or even supervision.
Have you wanted to finally commit to that new Years resolution, intention or goal that you make year after year and yet don’t always succeed?
Maybe you want to focus more and let go of multi-tasking?
Or maybe you want to eat healthier?
Exercise or exercise more, well don’t give up on that one!
If you’re a blogger, maybe you want to plan better for your posts?
We all have a habit we want to master but if we don’t know how we do that, how can we?
Rubin says this about Upholder:
“What I found out is that often the description doesn’t ring quite true.
That could mean you are an Obliger. Obligers often believe they’re Upholders, because both categories readily meet outer expectations.
However, there’s a key difference. Upholders also meet inner expectations, while Obligers struggle to meet them.
The key is: how easily do you meet an expectation to yourself? If that’s tough, you’re an Obliger.”
Want to let go of that Rebel in you now? Just kidding. But many of us find assessments that lead to self-knowledge to often be helpful in figuring ourselves out.
If you are an upholder like me, visit me at Coach.me 
You’ll be ready to master just those habits you want to for your own satisfaction.
Oh you’re not an upholder? Just search for any of the other three habit types you are and you’ll be able to find someone.
The coupon code for a first week free is BETTERHABITS.
See you there my fellow upholders.
Wasn’t going to take the quiz until I was pegged a Rebel by not taking the quiz. So I took it, and the quiz pegged me as a Rebel. Go figure.
Kire THAT all makes perfect sense to me: you didn’t consider taking the quiz but when you were called out a Rebel, you had to rebel and take it! Too funny. Bet you can see that in the way you adopt good habits or take on new ones.
I got questioner. That’s fine with me.
Hope you got the free report that went with it Leora. I found my to be most helpful in confirming how I both start new good habits and drop old bad ones.
Am also an upholder. Am sure that doesn’t surprise you, Patricia:-)
Catarina you are so right: I am in no way surprised that you are an upholder! If I showed a doubt, it would have likely been a typo. hahaha
Surprise, surprise, I am an Upholder. Darn, I wanted to be a Rebel!
And there IS that Rebel in you Laurie!
I am a Questioner. Very interesting test and I am not surprised by the answer. Thank you for sharing this blog
Once Questioners believe that a particular habit is worthwhile, they’ll stick to it—but only if tthey’re satisfied about the habit’s soundness and usefulness. They resist anything arbitrary or ineffective; they accept direction only from people they respect.
Arleen indeed interesting and enlightening to know our habit type. I find mine was spot on too. It could change our approach to getting rid of bad habits and having more new habit success.
I’m a questioner. Does that surprise you Patricia? Laugh! I think it kind of did me! I take my obligations to other people very seriously. I’d never miss an appointment or lie to get out of an engagement just because I didn’t feel like going! But, I have always questioned certain authority, asked too many questions and almost never give much mind to people I don’t respect:) Loved this test!
Jacqueline, as you likely know, no – I am not surprised about your habit type! The thing I like about it knowing the strength it can give us, and how to move forward for more new habit success.
Fascinating Patricia. I took the quiz and I’m also an Upholder though I can’t say I’m surprised since I tend to be rather anal about both my task list and commitments. Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
Well I am delighted one of my upholder buddies used the right word to describe our habit changing style Marquita! I think you about summed it up. hahaha
I am an upholder! This comes as no surprise as I am well disciplined and a stickler for order.
What a great adjective for upholder that word stickler is Phoenicia. And as you stated, my guess is that no upholder would be surprised they assessed their habit approach this way.
This shows you that I’m getting older – I forgot which I am – I think the Upholder – it’s the one where I do more for you than for me. Anyway, that was interesting. i love these quizzes, used to do them all the time in magazines.
I’m getting older too Lenie. My recollection of upholder as that’s how I assessed my habit style, is I do as much for you as I do for me. Now you have my curiosity to go back to my own post to see what style you describe here! teehee
Congratulations on meeting your goals. I tend toward the Obliger, which explains a lot. Although I like the idea of being a Rebel.
Donna it’s funny how so many people WANT to be a Rebel. But now we can all know what our strengths are in habit changing and what we need to strengthen up.
I think I’m an obliger. For instance, I feel like I should really take the quiz because I know it would be good for me, but I know if I don’t do it right this minute it won’t get done. Now, if you were my client and asked me to take it as part of a job, no problem. I think this must be one of the hardest personality types for a blogger to have and be consistent and successful!
Love how you connected the habit changing types to bloggers challenges Meredith.
I’m an obliger. No surprise there. I’m much more likely to meet others expectations, than to stick to the ones I set for myself.
I get that with you Susan now that I have a reference for it! It makes sense for sure. Am I wrong though that you are seemingly, maybe purposefully, moving out of that style? More to sticking to your own expectations? Or both equally?