how to easily find peace in most stressful situations
Here is the sound of joy:
That’s my youngest granddaughter when she was almost three years old.
Unless we are swinging on a swing all day long, there are going to be times in our life or days where something blocks us from joy.
Sometimes our to-do list can have an over abundance of items. Often information, whether we need it or not, seems to come to us non-stop. Life events can take twists and turns that never crossed our radar screen.
Can you relate to the change of pace or situations that can suck you into negative feelings in similar ways?
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how to easily find peace in most stressful situations
I belong to a small group at the church I attend. While I always benefit from our pastor’s message, these small groups allow us to go deeper into what the over all theme might be that week or month.
Usually, a small group has 7 or 8 people at most. No one gets pressure to contribute. In total, the meetings last about 90 minutes. These small groups are perfect for the introvert!
A few weeks ago we studied about being joyful in all circumstances. When hearing similar advice in a mastermind group I’m in, it was a prompting to go to the Bible to find ways to be in joy more often as a way to find peace in more stressful situations.
Always be joyful. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 (NLT)
This bible verse doesn’t say in good times. It doesn’t say most of the time. There is not any time delineation about when to start and when to stop being joyful. Always is the first word.
This verse is as clear as can be: always. Take any synonym you prefer to put in the word always place, and the meaning stays the same.
Maybe you have a, “But what about when ….?”
Often a situation isn’t easy to be joyful. My 88-year-old mother was in an ambulance on the way to the emergency room from long-term care. This situation is just the kind to stay in the moment or be totally present. Taking the call from the floor nurse, was just enough time to get centered. The nurse didn’t seem to notice the pause of just 8 seconds to breathe deeply in and out. With that little reprieve I could speak calmly and ask questions.
Taking a pause, or being mindful in the moment, is about being present. When something knocks me on my butt these days, and if the situation allows for, I take a full 16 seconds to breathe in and out as I learned on my meditation retreat with davidji. You can read more about the meditation retreat experience if you any interest.
Then a whisper in my mindfulness, “Always be joyful,” and I could feel the slightest curl on both sides of my mouth.
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Getting the information needed allowed me to telephone my sisters who live within an hour of mom and give them the best update.
But as I lost my center with the day moving on, I lost my joy. I started to get anxious. The thoughts were running like a freight train through my head.
I recently read that anxious (like worry) is being fearful of what might happen in the future, and anxiety is worrying about the past. They both rob you of peace.
If you can, imagine a time where you got a telephone call or some other communication about a dire situation?
Maybe you manage to stay present, be mindful of the moment to assess the situation and have clear communications.
You might be either calmer or further along in your mindfulness and other spiritual path practices than I am. If so you likely don’t get rattled about anything.
Please do tell us, how do you find your peace in stressful situations?
If you’re at about the same point in the journey, then it’s likely you know worry can happen next.
My sense is it, since we process differently, that an introvert may withdraw more during difficult times. Some studies bear out that extroverts cope with stress more actively. I know my extrovert husband will spurt his thoughts and feeling right then.
Maybe I was in one of these studies since I know I tend at first to be quiet. Since introvert brains are hardwired to process through a longer path of neuron connections, the difference in the two styles seems to make sense.
It also may be a gender-specific coping with stress. There’s actual physical evidence that there are 1 of 3 hormones released during a stressful situation affecting women longer term.
There are three verses in 1 Thessalonians to consider to remember if you want to know,
how to easily find peace in most stressful situations
I hope you’ll join me in the next post to find out what the next two verses are and how you can put them to work for you in practical ways.
Be joyful, pray continuously, be thankful in all circumstances.
There are a lot of intelligent and wise information in the bible, koran or any other religious book. Churchill quoted the bible sometimes and even Stalin, actually.
Meditation and breathing deeply works best for me when disaster hits. Also need to think about what’s the worst that can happen and how likely the likelyhood of that happening. Looking into myself to make sure I’m not perceiving it in a negative way is also essential for me. As a holy Hindu wise man once said to me in the Himalayas “Whatever happens to you in life it’s up to you how you perceive it”. And he’s right.
Catarina that question – what is the worst that can happen if indeed it is likely to happen – is ALWAYS good to ask ourselves when we are afraid. Afraid to make a change, take a risk, follow up with a customer. It’s one I use when doing sales training.
Great post, Patricia. I agree there is a way to be joyful in all situations. For me, when I feel stressful, I have to remind myself to breath and keep breathing. Deep breathing works great because it makes me get centered again. Thanks for sharing.
When we think about it Sabrina, we might take breathing with a grain of salt because it is so natural to us! Then if we can benefit from a deep breath, we might be slower to get in touch with that possibility to peace.
I agree there are ways to be joyful in all situations (this doesn’t mean forced cheerfulness). I admit to being at a point in my journey where I still worry a lot. Meditation, prayer, journaling, listening to music can all help. I love the clip at the beginning – there is nothing like the giggles of a baby or a young child to lift one’s spirits.
Donna what a great distinction of joy versus forced cheerfulness! I wish I had said that because joy has a different meaning than cheerfulness doesn’t it?
How interesting that we both belong to church “cell” groups. I am a cell leader and meet weekly with a group of women. It is far more intimate than attending a church service and less nerve wracking! We share the word, prayer points, plan group outings etc etc.
You mentioned giving yourself a little time to catch your breath when your mum was admitted to hosital. That would probably be the last thing most people would do in that moment.
I’ve never heard that term “cell” group so thanks for that one Phoenicia. Your comment about the taking time to catch our breath – which might be difficult for most when under duress, I can use that one somehow. “Deep breath” methinks – how?
i am of the t;ype that tends to withdraw in stressful situations. While same may take more comfort in having company and talking with people, I’m more likely to be confortable dealing with the situation by myself.
Ken I totally relate to your preference of being by yourself and dealing with an uncomfortable situation on our own. I get that.
@jPatricia — I think it would be very difficult to “Always be Joyful.” There are just some situations where that is impossible — like the loss of a loved one. For me, I think a more apt saying would be to feel grateful for what I have in spite of the bad thing that’s happened to me. Being grateful for my loving family and friends has always helped to sustain me during difficult times.
Jeannette I hope I wasn’t implying to “Always be joyful” would be easy; I didn’t mean to do that if that was your interpretation.
And gratefulness – that indeed can be just as difficult for from. That’s going to be my third Bible verse which is so profound in supporting what you say!
Patricia, I loved the way you started off with the picture of your granddaughter – she’s precious. My mantra, if you can call it that, has been “In all things give thanks” which is almost the same thing.
I stopped going to church when I became ill and for one reason or other (none of them very good) I haven’t returned, even though I miss my Sunday morning church services. I think this post is timely for me as in the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about attending church more often and this feels as if it’s just the push I need – just do it. right?
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Thanks Lenie for your insights and compliment about my granddaughter. Gratitude – yep – that is coming up in my third post in this series to learn how to deal with stressors in our lives.
You know me too well as it sounds like you know what I would be saying about attending church more often – indeed, just do it! 😉
One important factor, that once you realize, will help you adjust with stress is that YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL.
When we face something stressful, it is usually because of an outside influence or event. When you realize this is not something that you created, or can control, then you must face the fact it happened. Take your energy to resolve it, not to worry or be concerned about that event in the first place. It is a waste of time causing stress over something you have no control over anyways.
In other words take and pay attention to stress as a prompt to use your energy to resolve it. This indeed gets you (even if it seems slowly) to joy! Love that William.
Hi, Patricia! Now I know why I was thinking of you this morning (giggles) You are right we should always remember to find joy in everything. Stress is exhausting, if I face a problem now, I break it up into smaller, manageable chunks. Before you know it, the situation has either become easier or passed. That’s my theory anyway…
Sounds like small chunks just chops the problem down Claire! Awesome – thanks for that insight.
I try to bring out a positive message in every situation. Even in times of sorrow I console myself thinking about the good days that are about to come.
Life is a cocktail of joys and sorrows and neither of these lasts forever. So it makes sense to wait for the good days even during the toughest phase.
Thanks Patrica.
Tuhin thinking about the good to come! Beautiful way to move out of any negative situation and to the more joyful side. Thanks!