Networking Tip – Top 4 Ways to Escape from Energy Drain Conversations

Just recently there was a wonderful blog post titled, The Introverted Nerd’s Conference Survival Guide with introvert tips on how to manage a conference without pulling the energy plug. One of the comments mentioned some useful tips around how to break free of unenjoyable conversations, in any social or business situation, would be helpful. How do you WRAP up those either boring, meaningless or otherwise unsatisfying conversations?

Walk away after you state why you need to leave: On occasion I’ll say, “Well, I promised so and so I would meet up with them so I need to find them, (or I need to see if they came in with …) so excuse me for now.” If I’m bored I’ve usually broken eye contact anyway so I start to scan the surroundings for a familiar face. Avoid being tempted to add, “Let’s catch up another time.” Some people take that seriously and that just get’s you back to where you started at a later date.

Rise to the occasion and reframe the conversation: Extroverts are masters at this. I’ve seen them just pick up on a word and then fly with it in another direction. Introverts use your strength of listening! Whether listening to be polite or just using your natural listening skills, have a ready at hand transition word or phrase that indicates you want to change the conversation. Something like, “You know that reminds me of…” You just need a transition phrase at a little lull in the conversation and then you try to steer things in a different direction. It doesn’t always make the talk better but you won’t know until you try.

Acknowledge that the topic isn’t of interest. “I don’t have any idea about that,” could have the other person politely change what they’re saying. Of course it could backfire and they go on and on further to help you understand even more. Acknowledgment plan B: Do what George W. did in the Bush and Clinton debates in Richmond, VA: glance at your watch. Most people in small group conversation will pick up on that non-verbal in the middle of a conversation as an indication of “I’m not interested.”

Phrases to have ready: Continuing on how to walk away, you can have other phrases ready to help you move on or encourage the other person to do so. “Well, I’m sure you want to meet someone here; who can I introduce you to?” I like this one because I am a HUB connector: connecting people usually and unusually. If you are uncomfortable helping others make connections I do suggest you learn the art and science. I actually learned it from an extrovert friend but found that for my introverting tendencies, it’s can be useful when in an energy drain conversation too. You can also have similar phrases ready like, “I’m sure we both came here to network so I appreciate the conversation and hope to see you soon.”

That’s a WRAP for me right now. What can you add to these tips? How do you successfully and comfortably get out of conversations that aren’t satisfying for you?