Yes; you just might be that very special introvert. If you’re more the extrovert, then your opinion is welcome with an open mind. At first it’s the enticement of being able to control the time to think in conversations. With email and online social networking we can take some time to process a question, or a comment we want to make, and then when we are ready, we can email or reply online. Whether it’s LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or any other venue, there is no brainstorming kind of pressure that forces anyone to reply – instantly. Always there is an option of taking time to – think. An elixir for the introvert.
But a few weeks ago, one of my online introvert champions, Beth Buelow wrote a post, Why Being an Online Extrovert is Bad for Your Health that got me thinking, is it a possibility, introvert or extrovert, we can take online social networking to an extreme to our deriment? I prefer easier lessons in life these days, so I took some time to think things through about what I am learning some effects on me with being online, for business and personal reasons. Here is a private message for any introvert thinking over the need to recover from the work of something so social.
Is it necessary to claim, “I’m an open networker!?” Back about 5 years ago when I first joined LinkedIn, it was a generally held belief that being an open networker was the best way to connect. It spoke to your openness and willingness to in part, be a go-giver. It is definitely a way to meet a broader network of people who you can help and who can help you. The issue I found with it is over time I got invitations from dozens and dozens of people who have nothing to do with what I am there for. It was borderline, spam. The invitations had to be managed and that took my time and energy. I no longer have the open networker label or mindset.
Do you forget to revisit your privacy settings, everywhere? When I started to get tagged in photos from too many people on Facebook, I decided to go in and look at my settings. Then I realized I could disable others from tagging me and the photo with information going into my, theirs and anyone else’s newsfeed. Aaahhh. Back to a bit more quiet now instead of feeling like someone was regularly yelling at me at a happy hour. “Hey, Patricia, I see you!” It’s worth taking time to further explore what other controls there are to be more helpful.
Do your opinions get more opinionated? I made a promise to myself, that when I separated my personal page from my business fan page on Facebook, that if I did speak about my views on the big issues of life (politics, religion, social) it would only be on my personal stream. What I’ve learned has been valuable. As people, we don’t often want to listen to understand but rather to respond. For me, sometimes people respond unrelentingly about what they believe. I’ve taken to heart about how much it affects my own thinking and energy.
Are you now “apping” away your spare moments? I now count 60 apps on my iPhone. It’s either a fascination with the technology, addiction or belief that – I must be able to respond within, well, darn quickly. I’m not sure which is my plague. How many of these apps do I really need. By definition of the word “need” is it a requirement, necessity or obligation that no matter where I am, and when, I check in with LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter? Or even my emails? Time to reconsider.
Where does your best networking happen? If you found your way online mainly to connect with friends and family, then you likely don’t care about this one. As a businessperson, it’s likely like me, you’re online for networking, business networking. Then it may be well worth the time to figure out where the best ROI (return on investment) is from for your business. Are those in-person events best for you? Or is it online? Adjust as needed.
A last though for now, could you be letting your strengths become your Achilles heel? Knowing how our ability to plays online is dependent on us first recognizing our strengths as an introvert. We have many! But just a few related to the topic would be: we’re creative, we listen, we go deep on issues and topics, we’re leadership material and we can offer others stability in a hectic world. But related to the issue of being exhausted with the online social media, how’s all this working for you?
Recently I joked with some friends, “I have an iMac, iPod, iPod Nano, my husband has an iPad and we each have iPhones.” The truth, in all of this is iFeel exhausted. Regardless, if we recognize online social networking is here to stay and will only continue to change, then the questions would be more like at least this one for you:
How do we manage our online presence and still save our sanity?
Good post Pat that applies to both extroverts and introverts.
Am extrovert but being an open networker on Linkedin was not for me either. Stopped that years ago.
Have about 3,500 connections but have started turn almost everyone down since they spam me.
As for Facebook extroverts as well as introverts have to make sure their settings don’t enable strangers to read what friends write and or being tagged. Have also made sure that people I don’t know are not able to see who my friends are.
For me networking face to face works best for me. Having said that I have made great online friends, such as you and Keyuri that I value.
When you figure out “How do we manage our online presence and still save our sanity?” let me know. I am still working on that one. LOL
While social media can certainly be a boon for introverts (and extroverts), connecting for quantity instead of quality becomes exhausting. You mention this in your thoughts about being an open networker.
I liked your comment about time being an elixer for introverts. While it is true that time helps an introvert to process an idea, I find that it often takes too much time to be articulate and diplomatic in social media where no one can hear the inflection of the voice or the expressions on our face. It takes longer to convey that your intention is harmless and not ego driven.
Keyuri I hadn’t thought about the extreme of being able to process before commenting or replying to email, as you said, “takes too much time to be articulate and diplomatic in social media.” That is almost self-defeating isn’t it? Thanks for making that distinction.
Catarina I love it when the introvert and extrovert continuum merge! It seems that in many things our labels drop away. Thanks – as always – so insightful.
Susan I find the same thing – the clutter noise. It ends up always being there now and not as easily going away. Thanks. Glad it was something worthwhile for you right now.
Geek Girl, I asked first you know! LOL. Thanks for breaking up things with some humor.
That is a very good question. I’m still trying the figure that all out.
I can relate o apping myself to death. They’re so easy to ad and then the noise of the clutter start invading my consciousness.
Finding where best to spend my time is something I struggle with and will probably do so for a while until I get in to a rhythm of sorts.
Gosh the rest of it is worth a few moments and a bit more thought. BTW: this was a very timely article for me. 🙂
@Patricia, I am having one of the times where the clutter is getting to me. It really gets in the way of our creativity doesn’t It.