When my husband and I were building our current house in 2001, we felt quite blessed to have a wonderfully experienced older man. He likes things just a certain way, his way.
There are four rooms to tile. Three of the four have a name for the tile pattern in which they are laid. But the fourth room, a shared bathroom, does not.
When I get the telephone call from Mr. T, it was confusing at first.
Sounding frustrated he said, “Ms. Weber we have a problem.”
“Really. What is it Mr. T?” I asked.
“Well that tile you selected for the shared bath, it doesn’t have a pattern name. It’s pretty but without a name I can’t set it.”
I was puzzled because even though it didn’t have a name, it had a pattern, a pattern that could be laid out if you were looking at the pattern board. So I asked, “Did the sales rep show you the pattern layout board?”
“Of course,” he said, making me feel a little like I should have known he would have seen that. “But it needs a name before I can lay it out.”
Even more perplexed, but taking a hint from the tone of his question, I remarked, “Oh of course it has a name. I’m sure it does. Let me call the sales rep and call you back. Is that ok?”
So we each hung up. I immediately dialed the tile shop and asked for my sales representative.
She explained to me that Mr. T was like that and we could easily give it a name. So I named it Venetian because it is tile from Italy and having been to Italy several times, that name just came to the top of my mind.
Then I don’t know why, except that I wanted everything to be perfectly understood with Mr. T. I asked the sales rep if she would call Mr. T, apologize for the tile name confusion, and give him the name of the tile pattern. She agreed.
Within just about 2 hours, I heard from Mr. T with a sigh of relief in his voice.
“Ms. Weber, we have the tile pattern name. I can finish up that room next Wednesday.”
The lesson: Labels help us complete various puzzles in life. Labels serve a purpose to make something more definitive.
But a label is just a tool as it is for Mr. T to be able to complete this work. Venetian could have been the label for any pattern of tile. It just happened that it was now tied to this pattern.
We use labels all the time – male or female, rich or poor, republican or democrat, introvert or extrovert.
In one sense it can give us some context because, it gives both of us a general concept of what we are talking about. In another sense, which isn’t so helpful, it can give us a potential misinterpretation if we don’t have the right information.
Unless you are an introvert, and actually even if you are, it’s quite likely the label may have some truth and some misunderstanding in it. If you take a label on face value of a stereotype, in this case, introvert, then you might think some concepts that are incorrect and hold back on fully engaging with the person you just met.
Are you aware of how you use labels?
Do you let them stall you in engaging with others?
Yes ma’am. Labels can help us to remember – that’s why those label guns are so popular and in our house there is ample evidence of them. Thanks.
I really enjoyed your story and the lesson it taught. I can see that about labels. When I really think about it, I find myself labeling things to help me remember. Maybe not for the same reasons or with that kind of intensity but nonetheless a label. 🙂
This was a great story! Excellent point! In some instances – guilty as charged. Hopefully not so much anymore. 🙂
You bring up some great points. We as people are defined by our labels. For some the labels are the be all end all of how they quantify their world.
This reminds me of a couple people I used to work with. They fell into an extreme side of the political spectrum. My views fall into a more middle ground level, where I shared some of their views but not the execution of the visions. They immediately had to label me in a way that (to me felt like)justified their superiority. Mad me sad that this is not an isolated incident.
But it did serve to show me the power of labels in our lives. The labels people use place each of us into boxes, organizing our society and world into black and white. Interesting thought though, the world rarely ever follows black and white rules. Too often those labels fail to stick to their targets.
Cheryl, I think it’s just human to do this. But best to recognize when it is helpful and not so much.
Thanks.
Jon THIS is powerfully encouraging:
“Interesting thought though, the world rarely ever follows black and white rules. Too often those labels fail to stick to their targets.”
That’s a wonderful way of expressing the need to begin to let go of labels.
Thanks.
Harold it is so important to remember that labels do not tell the entire story, of anything. Thanks.
Aleshia, or if it’s not likely we can stop it, then recognize that it is holding us back in some ways. Thanks.
I think that all labels are incomplete. They point toward some truth/reality, but it is important to remember that they are not truth/reality.
It is human nature to label, but I think it is like prejudice – best that we stop doing it.
Labels make it easier for people to understand things. When I was in the advertising business and there was a new commercial being made the agency casting director would put out a call for a “Woody Allen” type or “Joe Six-Pack.” Then the casting agents would know exactly who to send for the audition. However, you wouldn’t want to labeled something like “a hot air balloon.” Very descriptive but not to your advantage.
Love the example that the tiles could not be used unless they have a name.
Am against labels because they generalise too much. Who can be described purely as say, female? There is much more to all females than just being female.
Jeannette two great examples, one that shows the usefulness, one that shows the inappropriateness. Now if we could remember when to use and when not to!
Thanks.
GREAT example Catarina. I love it! Thanks.
Labels (and their use) are a major hot button for me. For the record, I’ve been tested on more than 3 separate occasions (through employer initiatives) and officially labeled as “Extreme Introvert.” Ironic considering I’ve had a highly successful 25+ year career in hotel sales, traveled all over the world,regularly speaking to groups of from 3 to 500+, doing media interviews, and serving in high profile positions in my community. Yep, I will be the first to admit, I’ve become hyper-sensitive to the use of labels of any kind, but especially when it comes to the often misguided assumptions about us “Introverts.”