While I didn’t follow the weeks of the George Zimmerman trial, at the end when the jury was getting ready for their deliberations, I did tune in.
For the jurists is was really a no win situation to find justice for Trayvon Martin. It’s just not about being black and being white in America.
Regardless of what you think of either the cause of the tragedy, or the outcome of the jury decision, think about this:
How do you know what you will do or say in a future situation under stress or worst, duress? Can you really say, “If that ever happens to me I would…”
Policemen know how to act under stress and duress. Well of course and they are trained specifically and for a long time for different situations. How many times have you been in a situation like this? Someone criticizes you on some aspect of your work or something you said. You say something back and it doesn’t either resolve the situation or the way you feel. A day later or even longer, you say to yourself, “I wish I had said this…” Instead of, if that ever happens to me I would say this and that, it’s really, if that very same thing happens to me I would say this because I just had time to think about it.
No two people have the same background. Research shows that even twins who grow up in the same environment don’t have the same outcome in life. We each have different attitudes, thought and beliefs. Since are experiences are different, decisions we make are going to be different.
Under stress, the brain ignores negative consequences. When I have time to think things through, weigh the pros and cons, check in with people who I often go to for advice, my decisions are generally sound because – in the process I’m learning both about the upside and downside. But under stress we’re less able to either control our urges or know our decision has considered all the options.
People often make the wrong decision. Dan Gilbert talks about this at length in his TED Talk, Why We Make Bad Decisions. We face many decisions every day. Many, if not most, we have time to think things through to make the best decision we can. We all want a happy outcome. But sometimes, and quite often under pressure, our head just cannot stop spinning. And, we make a mistake.
People quite often don’t remember what they said or did. There are several health issues I’ve overcome. When you get a major diagnosis from a physician, if it’s traumatic enough, you likely don’t remember your very next thought or action. For me, what I do often remember in those instances is the action I took over the long term.
There’s a Biblical Proverb that concisely sums it up, Proverb 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” <= Tweet this.
You pose a very good question. What would I do? I really don’t know. As you said, we really don’t know how we would react or what we’d do until we are faced with the situation. I do know that when I am faced with a very stressful circumstance I am often surprised at what I do. Sometimes its good, that usually happens when I have had a similar situation occur in the past. Sometimes not so much which depends on the level of perceived threat. Just my thoughts. 🙂
Good point Susan – that we (hopefully) factor in a similar situation from the past. But with something that is totally foreign to us, and under duress, I’m not so sure. Thanks for those thoughts.
Very thought-provoking post.
Yes, often in haste, we make wrong decisions. Or there are extenuating circumstances that may cause us to do or say something that is out of character. Best thing is to apologize, and move on.
Doreen it is important to move on from the mistake. If not, it’s quite possible that you’ll carry things forward. And that affects our next decision – maybe just paralyzing us from taking action. Thanks.
I often wonder would what I would have done differently in a given situation as a way to reflect on various experiences. Since your post mentions how police officers are trained how to act under duress, I think about those who would like to arm classrooms with teachers who have guns. I can’t even imagine such a scenario where teachers would receive adequate training to be able to deal with such a situation, and yet people are proposing it happen.
Yikes Jeri. Let’s not fast forward to such a scenario. It might change the entire dynamic of teacher and student. Better to bring in law officials who ARE trained. Don’t we have enough examples of failure of such? Thanks.
Pat — I don’t know what I would have done in that situation. When you’re scared for your life — whether that’s an actuality or not, you believe it — you’ll probably do anything to save yourself.
Perception is reality. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I just don’t think we would not try to save ourselves. It’s a natural human reaction. Thanks Jeannette.
Patricia,
Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. Years ago I had taken my young children on a hike with our small dog. We were throwing freebies and we all were having a good time, when this big dog came out of nowhere and was ripping my dog apart. I started screaming at the other dog and a man came out of the bushes and knocked my husband on the ground. I got in that man’s face and told him to get his dog off of my dog. I didn’t even think that this man could have knocked me out. The adrenaline kicked in. When he got the dog off of my dog, I looked down at my blouse and I was so upset the buttons came undone. Who knows if the guy thought I was nuts and he better get out of there. I took my husband to the hospital and my poor dog was a mess and had to have metal stitches put in but he survived and lived a long life and yes so did my husband. The bottom line you do no know how you will respond in a threatening situation. When I look back I can’t believe what I did.
What a situation! It reminds of of another one we often hear about Arleen. In particular when you said, “I can’t believe what I did.” Remember how we have heard of feats of courage where a mother lifts up a car to save a child caught under it’s wheel? You were just trusting yourself. So glad both puppy and hubby are in great shape. Thanks.
Being European I can’t help wondering what would have happened if ZImmerman hadn’t carried a gun?
Would he have fysically attaced Trayyon Martin? Tried to strangle him, cut his throat or something like that.Very unlikely isn’t it? If it wasn’t for the constitutional right to bear arms, Trayyon Marin would almost certainly have been alive.
Catarina I appreciate your perspective. I think if Zimmerman did feel and believe his life was in danger, he MIGHT have done any of those things you mentioned. We don’t know. We will never know because it happened differently.
But a thread of common belief I am reading here is that we all have a natural instinct to survive. And that is either by fight or flight. Thanks for looking at it another way!
Pat, maybe you should ask yourself how many lives would be spared in the United States if you didn’t have the right to carry guns?
Have many times been on streets all over the world where I have seen people I thought looked dangerous. Could have interprete that as being threatened and applied my natural instict to survive. If I had had a gun I could have shot them. But when you don’t have a gun you do nothing. Just try to get away from there as quickly as you can. The guys I thought looked dangerous may or may not have been dangerous. But they are alive.
I have indeed been curious about that Catarina. At the end of last year, after one of our fatal mass shootings, a few journalists starting writing about it. Here are 2 clips from Olga Khazan of the Washington Post titled, Here’s how U.S. gun violence compares with the rest of the world:
“…countries with the most guns don’t necessarily have the most gun-related homicides.”
“The dubious distinction of having the most gun violence goes to Honduras, at 68.43 homicides by firearm per 100,000 people, even though it only has 6.2 firearms per 100 people. Other parts of South America and South Africa also rank highly, while the United States is somewhere near the mid-range. Still, America sees far more gun violence than countries in Europe, and Canada, India and Australia, which is perhaps how it gets its bloody reputation among comparatively peaceful nations.”
I do understand your view. Thanks.
Yes, let’s just agree to disagree on the right to bear arms, Pat.
Can’t help asking myself if the founding fathers would have given you the right to bear arms if they had written the constitution now. Benjamin Franklin was an exceptionally intelligent man and I doubt he would have been pro bearing arms in this day and age. The world was different when your constitution was written:-) Do respect your right to have a different point of view, however and agree that we just agree to disagree.
Pat, the United States should only be compared to Europe. The developing world is a different story. Frequently 60 percent of the population cannot read and write So violence is in charge:-)
What I didn’t mention before was that I was once mugged by a black guy when I lived in London. Consequently I was afraid that could happen again when I was on a dark street in Mayfair or Knightsbridge and a young, black, scary looking black guy came walking towards me. What would have happened if people in the UK had the right to bear arms? Maybe I would have had a gun in my bag and shot them? Probably would have shot about 10 guys so far. And for what? The simple reason that I was frightened of being mugged again which didn’t happen.
We’ll likely only agree on one point with carry of guns Catarina. It’s been an enlightening discussion.
For certain, t if people don’t have easy access to guns, then arguments won’t turn into a killing so quickly.
Where we would have to find other common ground is our USA Constitution, gives us the right to – bear arms. I’m a believer in our Constitution. Since the founders put it in they likely believed, “guns are the best defense against government tyranny.”
Since this is so much tyranny around the world, in civilized countries, that alone is enough for me.
But it is okay to disagree. Discussing what you believe is part of what helps find common ground.
What a great conversation and thoughtful post. I deal with domestic crisis on a regular basis because my organization has so many people moving in and out of private homes. Our front-line workers are generally a pretty brave group of workers, but they periodically get startled or thrown by an unexpected situation. The clients can feel at the mercy of the visiting provider which can also create an unhealthy tension. When fear is introduced it’s next to impossible to predict outcomes. Simple acts are misinterpreted to have darker meanings and innocent comments can suddenly seem loaded. Most of the time once we start digging to determine what’s happened we find unfortunate miscommunication that was aloud to go uncorrected for too long. What I would not want to introduce into any highly tense scenario is a weapon.
Whether its an angry dog, a gun or a knife, all it brings into the exchange is the ability to do serious harm when you are at your least effective. I also think that the culture in which the exchange takes place will impact the outcome. Had Trayvon been white, would Zimmerman have been so afraid? Was the neighbourhood safe or had there been violent acts that enhanced Zimmerman’s feelings of fear. How many crime stories were featured in the local media? The time of day, the state of mind…so many factors. It’s panic and poor decision making and so much more.
Those are thoughtful questions, ones I’ve asked myself, Debra. There are so many factors that it’s just not a situation I am able to judge. Likely only the two involved people have those answers. And we are only going to hear from one. Thanks so much for weighing in.
My husband and I raised two sons. Throughout the time they were in our care, as part of their upbringing, we always stressed, “Think before you act”. We were referring not only to emergencies, but just in the general day to day decisions kids growing up have to make, some of them life and death — i.e. my friend who is now offering me a ride home, had something alcoholic to drink, should I get into the car or call my parents to come pick me up?
As you and the other commenters have pointed out, emergency and/or threatening situations introduce other factors that affect our ability to think clearly. So many times when you hear a professional (e.g., EMT, police or fire officer) first responder rescuer interviewed they say, “My training kicked in and I did my job.” This reinforces the notion that training people we expect to enter harms way is important.
On the gun issue, here’s an interesting observation. Our older son studied for a semester at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. He said he never saw so many bar fights. He attributed this to the fact that Australia had strict gun laws, so that it was pretty safe to assume that the person getting in your face didn’t have a gun, so people were more likely to lash out physically.
And finally, on the George Zimmerman case — there’s a reason most communities don’t condone vigilantism. Even communities with well thought of Town Watch programs, train their volunteers and their rules forbid them to carry firearms. I think it is highly unlikely that George Zimmerman would have gotten out of his car had he not been armed with a gun.
That observation about your older son in Australia supports in part what Catarina was talking about.
My son is a black belt in karate. Even in black belt training they instilled, walk away before you fight. One day when he was 16 he was coming to his Jeep from a day of surfing and found 3 thugs at his car trying to ram sack it. Two of them ran. One of them stayed to confront. Even with the years of training around that belief, he fought. Broke the guys nose with a side kick, but came within a hair of having his Achilles tendon cut.
Suzanne I believe we cannot say what Zimmerman would have done because just don’t know how or what we will do when it is our life at stake. Thanks so much for your personal story.
I’m not for civilians owning guns. Even police officers sometimes make wrong decisions… If Zimmerman did not own a gun Trayvon Martin would be alive today.
Thanks for the comments about your position DC.
Exceptional and thought provoking post. And I am in total agreement that no one really knows unless they are confronted, exactly what they would do. But I think most people agree that it’s a tragedy all around…a no-win for anyone. But I have to say that the folks that believe that George Zimmerman is a “free man” are mistaken. His life is forever changed, and I’m sure not in ways he might find appealing. Thanks for the conversation.
I’m also sure, Zimmerman wishes he never got out of the car. Likely his life would be better. Thank you kindly for that compliment Jacqueline. No win for sure.
I was engrossed in your conversation with Catarina. I wonder if it is because we come from countries where we do not have guns easily available that we think there should be a change?
Our environment is certainly one of the factors that affects our beliefs Becc. Whether it’s our family, or our network of friends, or like you say, even our country and it’s behaviors or policies. Thanks.