Worry is only a set of thoughts. When our worry moments cause us to take on useless habits, beliefs and actions is when it matters.
As I reflect on this year coming to a close, I thought about any of my thoughts of worry. I made a list to consider, did any of my worry change things for the better or for the worst?
If it did, was the Now I know the answer at least to the top ten 2013 worry moments.
- Would mom return home? Mom broke her right hip with one fall and the second fall 6 months later, she broke her left hip. In the last 7 years my mom has bounced back from at least seven surgeries. She never recovered from that second break. The rehab director explained to me no matter how resilient we might have been, some of us reach a point when we are elderly where we just tell ourselves about our body, “Enough.” It was mom’s decision.
- How would we take care of mom’s long-term care expenses? Once we knew mom would need two people to tend to her daily living habits, neither my sister nor I could manage care giving. We applied for Medicaid for mom. Unfortunately for her, but fortunate for us, her meager income, which is only social security, fell below the poverty level and she qualified.
- Would we be sucked into a timeshare sales pitch? My husband and I, as two salespeople can be a gullible couple! But because the timeshare was running an hour late, they put about 50 of us in one room. Instead of being given the hard sell, after an hour presentation, we were asked if we wanted to stay and sign up, or just leave and collect our theatre and dinner tickets. The show was terrific, the meal was wonderful and my useless worries all melted!
- Would this be another year of spending more than my business took in? I started the year with a budget. Then, several contracts came in totally with gratitude because they were unexpected.
- What if I could not find my lost or misplaced credit card? The worry for something like this for someone married as long as I have been is, how do I tell my husband? After dancing while saying my prayer to St Anthony, “Please St Anthony, come around, my credit card is lost and is must be found,” well, my prayers were answered about 2 hours later.
- The tracking number package showed it had arrived but I didn’t have it in hand! This worry took me on a high intensity solve-it path. On the USPS website there it was, delivered to our house address. But I didn’t have the package. I called the post office, unbelievably staffed on a Sunday. They confirmed and suggested to call back to speak directly with the carrier. When I was replying to the retailer email to get further assistance I noticed – the tracking number was the same for my first and subsequent order! It simply either wasn’t yet mailed or was on the way.
- Would I stay up with the publisher’s rigorous writing schedule for my 2014 book, Communication Toolkit for Introverts? I’m passionate about helping introverts find their authenticity and put so much of what I’ve learned in the essential business communication skills. Even being late on two chapters, I am on target for the February or March launch.
- My cholesterol shot up from 168 to 298 in less than a year. While my internist immediately wrote a prescription for a statin drug, I took this to my naturopath for a second opinion. Four to six months after being on plant sterols and an increase in krill oil, cholesterol down to 198.
- How would we manage with less income coming in? My husband’s consultative role after a local bank bought his business had a 5 year contract with a high six digit salary which ended. I worried how we would manage. We’re still traveling, being generous with our families and enjoying the same lifestyle without debt.
- When we put our dog of 16 years down for the “peaceful” death, I felt I had done the right thing. I could tell by the look in her eyes and her actions that day. Then why three months later was I worrying, “Did we do the right thing?”
One of my take-aways is that Chanel, never worried. She lived a wonderful life.
My score is 9 out of 10 of these worries were unproductive time and energy. This last worry continues and will take more time. Chanel was my daily companion and while many speak of euthanasia as a compassionate act, the holidays are a reminder of the joy with her in our life.
We all have a range of thoughts all day long from what we might label good to bad. Worrying is unproductive and is as worthless as a crystal ball. Thoughts themselves do not mean anything. It’s the meaning we give to our thoughts that has an affect.
Worrying gets you no where fast, but it is still difficult not to worry. It’s almost human nature to worry. Some learn to do it very well, from their parents. Others learn it as a result of adult life experiences. It seems that worry is also a money maker. Many people make a living helping others learn not to worry….. It’s a never ending cycle. 🙂
Ain’t that the truth Cheryl! It’s a conundrum. It goes no where, and yet, we can’t help ourselves.
Your post made me want to reflect my own worries for this year and gauge its relevance. Doing so would make us more sensible about all the worries to come. We cannot resist it so the best thing to do is to think and react more sensibly. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Reflection for worry is the way to release and replace. Then I bet you are right Krisma, it would make us more sensible! Thanks.
“I’m an old man, I have had many worries, most of them never happened”.
It’s amazing how we can create problems in our minds that don’t exist isn’t it? It’s human nature but completely unproductive. Having said that I have found that in business it’s good to have strategies ready if worse comes to worse. That way you are not caught off guard and panic but know what to do.
Right so right Catarina. It might be sensible in business if all pointers go toward the worst is on the way, but I do believe, it’s counterproductive otherwise. Better to reflect and realign as the strategy.
I smiled and saw much of myself in your words. Worry can be an all consuming thing if we let it. I worry about stuff like you that never comes to pass. Somehow I still worry because it JUST may happen. If I can find a way to let go of these inconsequential worries, I do believe my life would be much more peaceful. Just my thoughts. Happy New Year my friend. 🙂
Happy New Year Susan! I’m working on a mantra for this year because in writing this post, I became acutely aware of my worry consumption. Time to stop drinking from it.
Yep, I feel EXACTLY the same way. Now that New Year is under way, I find myself with that old friend worry at my heels… sigh!
Worrying is worthless but sometimes it’s very hard not to do. We are getting ready to talk about moving my grandfather in with us since he’s recently mentioned the nursing home word and we would rather him not do that. He’s 87 and does really well considering – he still drives short distances. Trying not to worry..
Krystle I can totally relate to your worry. I hope you will find what I did with my mom: it turns out, she is at least as good in the hands of the trained staff as she was with us. They watch her 24/7 and all pointers indicated, it would have taken a toll on us sisters. Happy New Year.
So true. I think I this point he will be fine with us. It’s more of just to have someone there with him since he lives alone right now. Hopefully he will stay in as good as health as possible.
Hi Patricia,
These are all excellent reasons why NOT to worry – what an ingenious approach / Luved It!
Happy New Year,
~Coach Mark Edward Brown
Worrying is like second nature to me, and it definitely runs in my family. To a large degree, I wouldn’t know what to do if I wasn’t worrying about something. Then I always try to re-focus on something that will consume my mind so much that I don’t have time to worry.
You are not only a superb writer but a wise soul Jeri! Recognize, refocus and rejoice. Hmmm. Maybe that will be my mantra to get worrying to a minimum. Happy New Year!
Worrying is an absolute killer literally. Stress is a major contributor to any number of illnesses, and worry is a huge factor in stress. While it is often v. hard not wo worry, especially when it’s health issues of a loved one – or yourself – it absolutely does not help the situation. I can’t think of one situation where worrying helps. And yet we all do it to a greater or lesser extent. Not worrying doesn’t mean we don’t care, it means we are channeling our concern into things that can be emotional or practical help to whoever needs it. I’m a big worrier BTW – but less so than i used to be. Thanks so much for sharing your personal issues like this Pat. Really appreciate it.
HI Patrica,
Great job taking care of your mother. Glad you found your credit card. Hope your cholesterol stays low (stealing those tips for myself someday as statins did my grandpa wrong) and nice to hear you and your husband are out of debt.
I think worrying does have it’s place, but we have to realize we can control it and focus it productively.
Thanks for another good one,
Greg
Patricia there are times that I think all I can do is worry. It’s exhausting and for the most part, a complete waste of time. I’m not sure if I made a list of my worries if the result would be to feel better or worst. 🙂